How do you express....

how grateful you are for:

• Moments catching my 2 yr old singing primary songs at the top of her voice.
• Mybest friend - Beau. Heavenly Father not only knew what I needed he gave me the absolute best.
• Hard trials that teach me life lessons, despite how many tears are shed through them.
• Nature and it's amazing power to soothe and heal.
• A visiting teaching companionship I was scared to death about, and turned into the greatest blessing of my life.

• My immediate family - parents and siblings, and how they love me despite all my faults.
• My extended family who reaches out and makes me feel part of their family.
• The many opportunities the Lord has given me to grow, learn, develop talents and skills, opportunities to learn leadership and to grow spiritually.
• Amazing people that are constantly coming and going in my life leaving their mark forever one my heart.
• A Savior who never gives up on me, and gives me opportunities to feel his mercy and love.
• The restored gospel. The plan of Salvation. Priesthood Power. The Atonement. Covenants. Promises of Eternal Families and Eternal Life. Prayer. Answers to prayers. Unanswered prayers. The Book of Mormon, Bible and other scriptures. A Living Prophet. The Relief Society.
• Those tiny every day moments that bring a smile to both my face and heart.

Young Women Personal Progress

In our church the girls ages 12 – 18 participate in the Young Women’s Program. It is an excellent program designed to help girls prepare to become mothers, wives, and good righteous women. Within the young women’s program is goal oriented program called personal progress, which is based upon 8 values. Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and Virtue. You can read and see the Personal Progress Program here and here.

Right now my calling (or church service) in our ward is with the Young Women as secretary. Even though I finished the personal progress as a youth the program has changed a lot since then. It’s my goal to go through the whole program again right now and earn it again along with my young women.

For one of my projects I wanted to create a mini album to share with anyone, based on the young women values. I wanted something that was basic and could be used for multiple things. I hope some of you can find a use for it. The two graphics show the whole collection.

It can be used for many things:

- note cards / postcards

- church handouts

- invitations to New Beginnings, Young Women in Excellence, Standard Night

- create a finished album recording all of your 8 value experiences you completed.
- scripture memorization cards

- photo book for camp or YW activities.
- use it for a YW activity to teach your girls how to digital scrapbook.
- have your girls use it in a persona progress goal.
- be creative!

For each value there is one page that is a journaling page, and then one that is a photo page, with an open hole to place a photograph. If you want to manipulate it a bunch some photo editing software would work the best. (Although my sister can do amazing things with Microsoft Word, which I can not do.) So that program might work as well. If not, it can easily be printed out and just written on.

It’s free for you to use. I’d love to hear how you use it, or see any finished projects if you have the time. I really hope that some of you might find it of value because I sure had a lot of fun making it.

DOWNLOAD THE YOUNG WOMEN'S ALBUM

Please feel free to let people know about it, and direct them here where they can download it. Thanks!

Come Listen

to a Prophet's Voice....

Throughout the history of the world God has called Prophets to lead, teach and warn his people. You find them all through the Old Testament. Through the New Testament the Lord taught us himself. and then called 12 apostles to preach of him and run his church. He called prophets and apostles in the New World on the American continent as well and their record is found in the Book of Mormon.

"Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the Prophets". Amos 3:7

God is the same yesterday and today and will be the same tomorrow. He does not change. He can not change or he would cease to be God. He will always call a prophet to give direction to and to teach his people. To bless them. He has done it through all ages of time. So why would he love us any less and not call a prophet again today when the world is filled with so much moral decay and wickedness. Why would he not call prophets and apostles to declare repentance and to teach us of his ways.

He has.

I know without any doubt in my mind he has called a prophet today. His name is Thomas S. Monson. He has also called 12 apostles to lead and guide his church and to be special witnesses of him, delcaring that Jesus is the Living Christ. I have heard these men. I have been in the presence of some of them including the Prophet Thomas S. Monson. numerous times The spirit has born testimony to me that they are his servants. I have been blessed greatly by following their counsel and guidance. I love them with all my heart.

Today they will be speaking to the world. Preaching repentance, faith on the Lord Jesus Christ and giving us specific guidance and direction that the Lord would have us know as we live in this very confusing, morally corrupt world. I invite you to come and listen. It will be broadcast this morning at 10:00 am MST, for two hours and another session at 2:00 pm MST for two hours. They also spoke to us yesterday, which you can hear online as well. You can find the broadcast pages here. The prophet will give his main address this morning as the last address. He will also conclude the conference, in the afternoon session. The rest of the 12 apostles and other church leaders will also address us.

I love this time of year. I am never filled so much spiritually than when I listen to these messages. The ones that were given yesterday were amazing. So what does the Lord want you to know today? Come and find out. Listen with me.

Time to Listen

My sister called me up the other day wanting to know if I was ok, since it had been a few weeks since I had posted on my blog. My answer. We're doing great, just had lots going on during the holidays and just haven't felt the need or desire to blog yet.

Have you ever had so many thoughts going on in your head that needed processing. Although your dying to get them all down on paper and write them all out, you just can't yet. That's what I've been experiencing lately.... so many thoughts intertwining with each other, overlapping, connected and yet completely different and all trying to make sense. They are now slowly starting to fall into place. Which means that I'm slowly starting to have a desire to blog again.... I finally feel like I'll have some things to say.

I enjoyed our holidays and time we were able to spend with family. It was exhausting and refreshing all at the same time. I truly felt like I enjoyed my holidays this year compared to other years where I made myself too busy and waited too long to finish projects up. With these end of the year festivities automatically comes that desire to start making goals, start thinking of big ideas. Things I want to do, accomplish and be by the end of the year. Goals for my family. I'm naturally built that way, I love making goals and trying to accomplish them. There is something about evaluating things at the moment and trying to figure out how to grow from there.

So in the process I recognized a lot of things that needed changing and things that I really wanted to work on this year. They began to fall around a theme.... which made me fall on the idea (that many of my friends do) of choosing an overall word for the year to focus on and work towards. I totally bombed out on the word I chose last year. I can't even remember what it was. But the word I chose for this year felt right in every way. It was about things I have pondering and it had lots of potential for growth. I knew I had it. I knew it was something I could actually do. I had it all planned, I was even going to write my big blog post about it.

Then it completely got thrown aside after talking to a friend of mine at Beau's Lab party. She said some things that has had my mind reeling for the last four days. She competely undid my word for this year and gave me a new word.

Listen.

Specifically. LISTEN TO THE STILL SMALL VOICE.

I realized that all changes, all questions, all goals, all hopes, all things I wanted to do for the year could be answered and made better by listening to the guidance of the spirit. Too often I'm too busy, ignore or don't take the time to sincerely listen for the spirit about matters or pray specifically for direction. How much better would my life be as well as my family's by the end of the year, if the only simple thing I did in my life was try to be more intune to the spirit. More worthy of it's presence, more obedient in following in it's promptings. Taking a very active participating role in seeking the spirit.

The other night I was studying the topic, and ran across a great verse that described the fruits of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. Have you felt those lately? Do you feel them daily? If not why? What are you feeling instead? Stress, exhaustion, lack of faith, short in patience, quick temper, unhappiness, or discouragement.

There have been a few things lately that have been bothering me and on my mind. A few times in the last couple of months that I've felt stressed. Too often I'm short tempered, and have a huge lack of patience. A few times when I questioned if I was doing the right thing.

How simple to stop and listen to the still voice deep inside of us that is trying to show us, guide us and let us know what would ultimately make us happier, help our families and be what the Lord wanted. During a couple of moments in the last week I stopped to let that small voice guide me and show me what was making things hard and difficult. And then he give me the peace and assurance that it was ok to make changes, to drop things, to focus on what mattered.

He gave me faith and hope that it would be ok, it would work out even though from our mind it wasn't possible. He reminded me what is ultimately my biggest and most important responsiblity in this world - my children. Being a mother, spending time with them, teaching them, developing strong relationships with them, being a better homemaker and wife. That is all that matters, and anything else that was affecting, harming or creating stress in any of those areas had to go. What do I feel now? Peace. Huge peace.... all because I decided to finally LISTEN and then DO IT.

So I hope that by the end of the year I can say that I have stopped and LISTENED. I hope to tell you that our lives were changed in incredible ways. I hope to tell you that we saw Miracles occur. I hope to tell you that I lived a year filled with peace and happiness admist life's difficulties, I hope to tell you that in the process of this, my goals were accomplished better than they could have been on their own, and that I accomplished goals I wasn't even aware that I had, because the Lord had them for me.

Now to just go and LISTEN.

Sacred and Special?

The other night something was brought to Beau and I's attention. It the process of talking about it and discussing it he made the comment. "No one keeps anything sacred and special any more."


It got me thinking and we talked more about it. Our world is so crass, so vulgar, so in your face. Everyone wants "reality tv" in every aspect of their lives. They want to live in the moment, they want personal gratification, they like to "cast pearls before swine" so to say. Why don't people have more deep respect for people, things, relationships and matters of faith. This world has become too casual. Do we approach these things casually with lack of reverance and an attitude of sacred respect?

Virtue - intimacy
Relationships with people
Marriage
Prayer
Our Family
Our Homes
Faith and Spirituality
God's name - God himself
Sacred places and buildings
Human Life
Our language and the way we speak
Nature

I've been thinking about it the last few days. What do I hold sacred? Do I hold anything special and close to my heart? Why does it hurt so bad when people show lack of respect towards things that I hold special and sacred? What do I need to be holding sacred? Is there a benefit of keeping things sacred and special?


This morning I ran across a few thoughts that were really good which were similar to thoughts and questions I've had.

"Our ability to seek, recognize, and reverence the holy above the profane, and the sacred above the secular, defines our spirituality. Indeed, without the holy and sacred, we are left with only the profane and secular."

"Holy places and sacred space are also distinguished by the sacrifice they require the word sacrifice means literally ‘to make sacred,’ or ‘to render sacred One may not have the sacred without first sacrificing something for it. There can be no sacredness without personal sacrifice. Sacrifice sanctifies the sacred."

"Our homes, likewise, are holy places filled with sacred space. Though not always tranquil, our homes can be filled with the Spirit of the Lord. Each of our families is confronted with a broad menu of activities and entertainment, not all of which is wholesome and good—and much of which is certainly not necessary. Do our families also need to repent and forsake some things to help us maintain the sacred nature of our homes? The establishment of our homes as holy places reflects the depth of sacrifice we are willing to make for them."

"We must be willing and capable of slipping away from the world for just a few moments in order to reflect on holier things. Without this spiritual renewal, our faith is easily overcome by the secular and profane."

"In holy places and in sacred space we find spiritual refuge, renewal, hope, and peace. Are these not worth every necessary personal sacrifice?" - Elder Dennis B. Neuenschwander

What do you reverance?
What do you hold sacred?
What should we be holding more sacred?
Do our children see us treating things as sacred and special? Do they feel sacred and special because they are.
How much have I let the world and the world's ways sneak into things that should be held sacred and holy.
Have I become too casual?

I know there is something powerful about this simple principle of keeping things sacred. Reverancing things. Showing respect. God is holy. If we are trying to become like him, than we too must become holy. We can't do that if we hold nothing sacred.

Photos by: Per Ola Wiberg, Pedro Simões

Create

Last September I had a horrible, very rough week. I was discouraged. I felt like I was failing as a mother and as an artist. I was having a struggle of how to balance the two things I love in my life - art/designing and being a mom. I hadn't had a chance to create all week and I was wondering if I should just give up spending time on designing because it was frustrating me when I couldn't ever get any time in. I wondered if I should just let it go, if I would be happier and be able to spend more time being a better mom. I was praying for answers.

That night I attended the General Relief Society broadcast for the women of our church. I went hoping for answers. The first three talks by the general Relief Society sisters were good, but they still didn't fill my empty heart and give me the answers I was looking for.

That was until Elder Uchtdorf spoke. This video has small clips from his address. But you HAVE to listen to the whole thing if you struggle with creativity in your life and feeling a need to be create, or if you are a woman and just want to find happinesss. You can find his address here. I can not describe to you the emotional and spiritual impact this talk on me. From the moment he commented on talking to all those out there who are tired and exhausted... the spirit hit me and I was crying. I have never had an experience hit me more powerfully than listening to him. Every word from his mouth I felt was a very specific answer for me. I have never felt the love of the Lord personally for me so strong. I knew that God knew me personally. That he heard my prayer. That he knew my struggle. That he understood. He sent his answer through the mouth of his apostle. I still get choked up every time I hear this talk, every time I think about that experience.

I know God lives. I know he loves us personally. I know he answers prayers. This talk was an answer to mine. I need to be creative. It is part of me. It's part of everyone. Even though at the time I felt like it was more towards designing and needing that. Lately I've realized that the greatest happiness I find is being creative with my family. Doing creative things that bless them. Isn't that was God does too. All of his creations are here to bless us. His family.

Let it Rain

photo by: Capture Queen

The other day I was reading in the Ensign Magazine and a small excerpt from a reader really made a huge impact on me. She said...

"Our stake president encouraged us to start a “Let It Rain” journal. He said that personal revelation is like rain. It comes drop by drop, and if we would create a reservoir for it, so to speak, in our journal, we’d be surprised at how much the Holy Ghost prompts us every day. He advised us to write in our journal any questions we might have and pray about them. When I tried this, I was astounded at how much personal revelation I had been overlooking." - Kersten Campbell . You can read her whole experience here on page 69.

The truth of this just hit me at the time. I have a regular journal that I record the happenings in my day, things I've been thinking about. I have a scripture journal were I record things I learned... but to me this was a different approach. This was a place where I would record questions about things I was thinking or worried about personally or with my family. Thoughts that randomly come, ideas about my problems. Spiritual promptings or answers. It was as she described... my own personal reservoir of personal revelation for me. I found a notebook, and started...

photo by: _StaR_DusT

I started writing down questions or insights that I had about my family, my kids..
I started writing down scriptures that struck a cord.
I started writing down thoughts of people that I should visit, contact, or help.
I started writing down random thoughts that seemed to come out of no where during the day.

I started seeing answers.
I started seeing promptings of things I should do in my life.
I started to see that the solutions that I've been trying to come up with on my own over time and apply (which weren't working) be narrowed down to specific ideas, actions and things to do... I didn't seem to be wasting as much time because these ideas DID work.
I started seeing my weaknesses and realizing the need for the Savior and his role in helping me overcome them.

I have started to see what I have been missing this whole time. Imagine a whole life of doing this. Imagine how much more I could be as a person... more efficient, more effective as a mother, as a disciple, as a wife, as a designer and more in tune with the spirit.

I also had this scripture jump out at me which was shared in a scholarship and faith symposium that my husband and I attend last week.

"Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings and he shall direct thee for good."
- Alma 37:37

"IN ALL THY DOINGS" hit a strong cord... I've started to see this more as I've written down questions regarding all the doings of my life.

How can I design so that I am not spending lots of time and have it be more productive?
How should I plant my garden, or what is the most efficient way to use our tiny space to get the most harvest and storage for our family?
How can we live more simply, not be so wasteful and be more frugal?
How can I help Mirian be more happy?
What are my weaknesses?
What should I eliminate from my life that is taking up too much time and is not important?
What commitments should I say yes to and which should I turn down?

Every thing... all my doings....all my thoughts. I am seeing now that the more I ask these more specific things in prayer rather than a vain repetition, and start writing down thoughts, answers, scriptures, ideas that come into my head, and start creating a reservoir to gather it that the Lord is directing me, directing me for good. What an incredible blessing.

Lite and heavy thoughts

(Be prepared this is a heavy one.)

A few weeks ago I had the chance to get out and walk around town and take photos of some old buildings for a project. It's amazing the things you don't notice, until you go out looking for them

I have not given up on my blessing posts. I have 4 more planned that I wanted to do. Life somehow got in the way. The inlaws showed up in town. I had a big project hanging over my head. All my kids got sick, and well... life happened. I'll still finish posting them here and there because they are things that I'm incredibly grateful for!

Somehow my kids have gotten sick with something that resembles pink eye but I'm not sure what it is exactly. It starts by their eyes getting red, swelling, then the white parts getting all blood shot, and goopiness. No other signs, till the next day when they get high fevers for a couple of days with no others signs. A day or so later, they have a cough. They are now over the fevers and the eye problems, but still have the cough, with runny noses and head colds. They got it one at a time, had it for 3 days before passing it onto the next kid. Weeks later we are still dealing with it.

It's times like this that you really need to have self discipline. After weeks of whining, grouchiness and clingyness I am finding myself short tempered, no patience, and whining myself. I am in such a need of a break and I am so ready for everyone to be better. It's hard because I know they don't feel well, and they are acting grouchy because mommy is too.

Lately I've had the word 'consecration' on my mind a lot. It all started with reading this
scripture weeks ago. (vs. 9) Then I read an amazing talk on it here. That talk has had me thinking all week about if I'm really consecrating all that I have to the Lord. Do I have other things that are taking up more time and devotion than him, making me not really keeping the the 1st commandment. Am I really giving ALL of me and not just part. My time, my talents, my thoughts, desires, hopes.

I tend to think I'm not. I tend to think that I like my time too much to keep for myself. I'm beginning to think that I spend too much time on things that "don't matter" in the long haul and are really just keeping me from doing what he needs me to do.

I'm realizing that when I get up in the morning my thoughts are "What am I going to do today, what is on my agenda, what am I going to do with my time." When in reality, it's not my time, it's not my day. It should be his. He has specific things he needs me to do, that he wants me to do, and I'm not even giving him a chance to let me know what it is.

I'm beginning to realize how different I would spend my time and energy if I woke up and said a hearfelt prayer asking him "what he needs me to do today." And then really go out and do it. Am I really dedicated to him, his gospel. Am I giving him my all.



A while ago I was studying the Old Testament and was fascinated by the word "Handmaiden." Specifically when it mentioned "a handmaid of the Lord." Mary describes herself as this to Gabrielle when he comes to announce that she is carrying and will deliver the Christ Child. What does it mean?

A handmaid in those days was a servant of the women. Specifically we hear of Rachel and Leah's handmaids, who they offered up to bear children when they were found barren. They could not bear children and wanted a posterity. In those days everything the handmaid was, had or did was literally her masters. It was not hers. Nothing was hers. Nothing. That was why when Rachel gave her handmaid over to bear her children since she couldn't it was as if her handmaid was literally bearing her children, since nothing was the handmaids. It would literally become and be seen as Rachel's child.

I find it interesting then that Mary declares herself a handmaid of the Lord. Here she is showing her upmost submission to the God of Heaven, is saying that everything that she is or would do would be his. She was his, to do as he would like. Complete submission willingly. This term "hand maid of the Lord" is not used very much, only sparingly throughout the scriptures. But Hannah also declares herself one. She gave her all too. She gave up her only child to the Lord to work in the temple. In modern scripture in D&C for those that belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints the Lord calls Emma his handmaiden. We know all that she gave up.

The other most interesting one that is mentioned is in the prophesy in Acts 2:18,of the last days before the second coming when he declares "And on my servants and on my handmaidens I will pour out in those days of my Spirit; and they shall prophesy:"

We are in those last days and he declares that there will be handmaidens. Women of the world who will be good, who will submit their wills, their time, their energy to him and his work. And he shall pour his spirit out among them.

So lately my question would be if I am committed enough, have I submitted my will completely that the lord could call me HIS handmaiden, or am I still too caught up in the world, too caught up in myself, to busy for others, to busy to do his work, or to busy to listen to what he really needs me to do. Am I give my all or am I holding back a part?

Reflections of Christ

Someone sent me an email letting me know about this exhibition "Reflections of Christ" by photographer Mark Mabry at the Mesa Arizona Temple. It's hit me on so many levels today, that I thought I would share the quick slideshow that they have of the the images from the exhibition. I'm hoping later they'll have it made so that it's possible to actually post it straight into blogs. Until then here it is. I love to see artists like this using the gift that they've been given to glorify him. Here is also a link to the website for the exhibit and videos on the creation of the images.

Little Blessings

I love those little moments and blessings that just pop into your life totally unexpected where the Lord shows tender mercy to you. The last month and half, I've been giving up my free afternoon where my kids are playing at the neighbors to help a sister and her family who has been on bedrest. It's been my own time to run errands, work on designing, clean the house, rejuvenate, etc. It has been really good for me, but it's also been stressful as I have felt behind not having that time.

Last night I was trying to determine in my mind where the line is of making sure I'm taking care of our family and our needs by saying no to helping, and when I should be serving and helping others when they so desperately need it like our Savior has taught us that we should do. Last night in thoughts and little prayers, of asking where that line is, what should I do? What would he have me do... I still determined to go and make it work, despite how much I needed a quiet break for myself.

I was just about head over there for the afternoon when I the phone rang. It was this dear sister calling to let me know that her husband came home early to help because they were unable to work in the snow. (We had a freak blizzard this morning. Which I was groaning about because I wanted spring.) Little did I know the blessing of that snow. That phone call made my day and gave me that little warm feeling that the Lord is aware. He's known how hard it has been, he knows I'm trying and he was saying "Here are 3 totally unexpected hours just for you... go refill your empty bucket."

Supplies Used: Ponder Collection, Blossoms and Blooms: Fall Embellishment Biggie

Faith Journey Crop

Tomorrow night I'm going to be hosting a Faith Journey Crop at ScrapGirls in the chatroom @ 9:00 EST. It's basically a chance for those of all types of faith to get together and share their experiences and beliefs. It's a great chance to get strength from others who are trying to live their own faith. We will be encouraging them to write down or to scrap those spiritual experiences, trials, and things that are important to them and their growing faith.

Tomorrow night will be a pretty general topic of - "Your personal journey of faith." It will be relaxed with a chance to get to know those that would like to participate, and learning about each others background in their beliefs and where they are on their own personal journey. There will be a PDF given out with journaling topics, quotes, scriptures and the sample layout above using one of the journaling topics: What is the most important thing about your faith that you could leave your children or posterity?

We are hoping to continue having one every month on the 3rd Wednesday, and each time there will be a new topic. We'll also post the pdf here for any of you that might enjoy going through it and journaling your own thoughts of about the spiritual aspects of your life.

Feel free to join us! We would love to have anyone and all faiths are welcome. Just go to ScrapGirls and click on the the chat button. If it's your first time you will need to give a username for it to show up, and you need to have java installed on your computer. It will guide you through it.

Inspiring Day

Today was one of those inspiring days in so many ways. I had the chance to spend 2 hours in a conference listening to council from our General church leaders on raising families. I learned so much, and had a lot of those aha moments that hit me based on my own circumstances or trials I've been going through. Words of encouragement and things I need to do better at. It was wonderful. Pages and pages of notes of things I can't wait to share over time and start working on in my life.

The afternoon was spent just relaxing with each other. With Beau gone so much at night for meetings and all day Sunday... Saturdays are those rare wonderful days when he is home. Sometimes, as he says, we just want to sit around and hang out with each other. Enjoy the fact that everyone is home. The kids just love to sit there on dad's lap and cuddle with him during times like today.

We also went to the library where I picked up some books to hopefully help me on some of these art goals I shared. I'm excited about them. I always have to tell myself not to go over board. I sometimes pull everything off the shelf with intentions of learning from all of them, but I never have the time to go through that many books, and so I never really learn and glean the information that I need to. So I tried to hold myself back and pick up a couple of good ones that can help me start working on increasing my skills. So I've been dying to sit down to play and read!

Then tonight we had another church meeting for Stake Conference which happens every 6 months. It was great to actually be able to sit with Beau, rather than myself. It was inspiring and lots of great things were shared on how to become better disciples of Christ. I need this day. It gave me some direction and something to work on in the spiritual aspect of my life as well as with my family and art. I love days like this.

We Thank Thee O God For A Prophet.

I know that many people of many faiths read this blog, but I would not be true to myself or my faith if I did not write down some of the thoughts that I have had since I heard about the passing of our prophet and president Gordon B. Hinkley. At age 97 he has served in the church for the last 46 years, 13 of those years as prophet, seer and revelator.

I still remember the day he was called. I was sitting in my HS Trig class, and our teacher came in and announced that the former prophet had died and we in turn knew that President Hinkely would become the next prophet. I will also remember exactly what I was doing when I found he he had died. I was checking the ScrapGirls messageboard and saw a thread saying that he had died. I knew he was old, and yet in my mind it seemed that he would just live forever. There are so many things that go through your heart at a time when one prophet passes and another takes their place.

For one I realize how grateful I am for this wonderful man. For the example he set for me as well at the church. The thing I felt the most from his was love, the Saviors love. He was always optimistic despite hardships and wickedness increasing in the world. He was a man of faith, and one of service. I will always connect service with him as he dedicated 2/3 of his life serving God and the church.

My favorite saying is one that his father told him on his mission when he serving in England. He had been having a hard time and was thinking that the mission was not for him and wanted to return home. His father sent him a one line letter that said "Gordon, forget yourself and get to work." From that point forward he always had, he forgot about himself and got to work serving the Lord and us. That has stuck in my mind forever. You'll never be truly happy until you forget yourself and you go to work serving the Lord.

Another thing that always stuck out to me was his love for wife and respect for women. I have had the opportunity to see in many congregations where they spoke and to feel the love they had for each other. I loved sister Hinkley, she had a spitfire personality, and great sense of humor. She was known for her love, concern and acceptance for all people. When she died he was devastated, but once again took the advice to get to work to overcome grief. I'm sure it was a great reunion for those two souls to reunite again.

Most of all what I have gained from this man is a testimony that he truly was the Prophet of God. Many people today wonder where God's prophets are today. They are throughout the Bible, and yet somehow people think God has abandoned us today and has no longer called prophets and apostles. I'm here to tell you that is not true. He has. There are here leading, teaching, and forewarning just as the ancient prophets of old have done. They are over the Lord's church, the same as the Lord Jesus Christ set up when he was here upon the earth. The Lord speaks to them. The Lord guides them. They are incredible men, whom are filled with the spirit.

I once was asked by someone who did not believe as I do, if I was ever worried that the prophet would lead us astray, or that he was a man and full of weaknesses. She was right. Everyone one of these men are just men, but there is a difference about them, and you can see it in their eyes and feel it in their presence. They have been called by God. Just as Moses was a man, and Abraham, Jeremiah, and all the old testaments. They are all just men, but because of their desire to serve and do what is right they have been called by the Lord. And whom the Lord calls he also qualifies.

I know that Gordon B. Hinkley was a prophet. I know the Lord had called him and qualified him to be a leader to the world in these last days before the second coming of our Savior. I know that even though he has passed on, that the work will go forward. In a few days we shall have a new prophet that has once again been called by God, set apart by the 12 apostles and bestowed the priesthood keys to once again lead the world. That knowledge is something I would never give up in the world. For it I am so grateful. I will always have soft spot for President Hinkley for the impression, faith and legacy has has left on my own heart.

Life is Short

Life has been rather interesting for us lately. This last weekend we drove back home to Wyoming to spend time with Family over the Thanksgiving holidays. It was a nice couple of quiet relaxing days. Beau and I have been planning on leaving the kids with the grandparents after the break while we came back home and I traveled with him to Lake Tahoe, NV where he had a conference that he was to present at. The plan was 4 days of no children and just enjoying the chance to be together.

Well life has ways of changing your plans. My grandfather has been battling cancer for the last year, but they recently found out just 2 or 3 weeks ago, that there was more that had consumed some very vital parts of his body. They didn't know how much longer he had left, and it was sort of left at that. My mom spent Thanksgiving at his place where she was taking care of him and helping out my grandma. Well he went quickly, 2 weeks later he died this last Friday night.

Since she was unable to watch the kids since she was taking care of him and he seemed to be going fast I decided I was going to stay home and not go on the conference. After he passed away, Beau made other arrangements for his paper to be presented and stayed home with me, so we could all attend the funeral. He has no idea how much that meant to me. I was really not looking forward to wrestling 3 kids at a funeral all by myself. I instead wanted to be able to actually listen, sing and enjoy the opportunity to be there rather than missing the whole thing because of 3 kids.

So the next couple of days we'll be in Idaho with family.

It's given me some things to think about and you'll hear more of it in my "Your Actual" post tomorrow. I did have this photo that now means quite a bit to me. The last time I got to spend time with my grandpa was this last August at our family reunion. He had a couple of good days between all the cancer treatments and was able to come out and participate in the reunion with us. Isaac who would not let anyone hold him, actually let grandpa hold him and fell asleep in his arms for a couple of hours. I had hoped that I would get the chance to see him one last time before he went, but because of very sick kids, we were unable to run up and see him. So this photo was my last memory of him, which was a really good one.

I have a strong belief that families are eternal, that this life is not the end. That although his body is left here, his spirit is as alive as it was here, and that he lives beyond the veil with God and all of our family who have passed on. I know he is there. I know he is alive and well, and not suffering like he did here. He is very much aware of me and my family.He still lives because of our Savior Jesus Christ, and will one day be resurrected. So although I will miss him, to me it's not the end, it's just a temporary separation. But it still makes me think of lots of lost moments in this life. Moments when we could spend more time with each other, listen more, serve each other more and most of all let people know how much we love them and how much they have influenced our lives. He knows all of that now, and has probably always known it, but how could it have affected him and influenced him more so during his earthly life if I had told him more often. Or if I had really told him how he has influenced my life. Life is too short. We need to stop waiting to let me people know how we feel about them. We need to tell them today, because what kind of impact could those few words have on them right now if they heard them.

Don't wait to tell someone. Tell them right now.

Expect Miracles

Some of you will recognize this bracelet. It's something that means a lot to me on so many different levels and for so many different reasons. I wear it almost every day. It reminds me of a very special moment that I had with some incredible people. People I look up to and admire so much. It reminds me of a God that has given me miracles many times. One being the opportunity to have know these incredible people. To me they are a miracle.

Today it had other meanings for me though. Today I was able to visit my family and give a name and blessing to the newest member of our family - my nephew. You might remember me writing about him here.

He arrived in our family a little over 7 weeks ago. Before he was born they found out a few more more problems that he might have, but the expected him to live even after birth for a while, until they saw how the heart would react. After that it was unknown what would happen. All went well with delivery, things seemed to be going well for him. They ended up finding out that he had even more problems with him than they originally thought. Problems with the brain, spine, spinal fluid, and still conditions with the heart. But the Lord showed us he still creates Miracles. He was released after 2 weeks in ICU and has been home with his family ever since. He is doing well. The future is still unknown, but today it was a realization of a miracle, a witness that God is still fully active in our lives.

The saying "expect miracles" is also giving me hope. Lately life has thrown me a huge curve ball. I have to deal with it somehow. I want to personally change in order to really be able to handle it. I know the Lord's hand was in all of it and because I know that, I know that I can expect miracles within myself. Miracles to change, to be better, and to know what to do. Miracles can happen personally inside of me.

Another one I'm hoping for is my brother. He is a great brother. He is a REALLY good guy. He has so much to offer in this world. But he struggles, and for some reason hasn't had a desire to serve a mission and share the gospel. He has struggled wanting to know what to do with his life. What direction to take it. I want more than anything for him to serve a mission, because I know how it will change him forever, what it will make him, and who he'll become. He only has a few more years that he is eligible to serve. I don't want him to miss that opportunity. Part of me, has sort of given up on that hope for him. Trying to be ok with whatever else he decides. But not today. After spending the day with him, and wanting that for him so badly, I looked down at my bracelet and realized I have not been expecting miracles concerning him. The Lord can create miracles, and he can create one in my brother. I hope he knows that. I hope he reads this. I hope he knows that I'm not letting go of that hope for him, and that I'm going to be praying hard for a miracle to happen in his life. It will happen. God can do anything.

So today I'm thankful for a little bracelet, and 2 little words to help me have more faith, to live where miracles happen, and to thank my Father in Heaven for those miracles when he blesses me with them. Go ahead "expect miracles" in your life too.

Thoughts

This picture describes so well what I've been feeling lately. I've had so many varied thoughts going through my mind, that I wish I could be right back here on this bench to sort them out. I decided I would sort them out here on my blog. So this might be a long one. If your not interested then come back another day!:)

It has been so hard for me to get back into the swing of things after the retreat this last week. I don't know why it's been so difficult. Right now I'm missing my ScrapGirl friends terribly, and missing that association that we had there. It's not like we don't talk to them on the boards, but it's just not the same as in person.

I had a wonderful time coming back to my family. Beau had so many things in order, the kids were mellow, and it was just such a nice relaxing afternoon to be with them. I talked Beau's ear off non-stop about the whole experience. I've been trying to hop back in and get connected with everything and yet it's been a struggle. I've had tons of design ideas running through my head, and no time. I've had more vertigo which is frustrating because I still don't know the cause of it. So Tuesday when I finally had some time to sit and design, I had a horrible vertigo attack and all I could do was sit perfectly still all afternoon. Poor Savannah had to miss her dance class, because there was no way I could drive.

The next day when I finally had time, I came & sat down on my computer, started working on something and the computer just quit. I couldn't get it started again or turned back on. So there went that design time. Beau tried to fix it that night, and he got it working, but then it still kept doing it. Frustrating!

We had considered getting me a new computer, and have just been waiting. Well this helped us decide to go ahead. So today we ordered it. A screaming machine. I can't wait. He was given a dual processor, ordered a 19 inch wide flat screen which is TONS better than the fish bowl I'm using now, 4 G of Ram, 500 G of Hard Drive. Who hoo, I'm can't wait! A step up from this one! The best part is it'll only cost us $500. Thank goodness! The blessings of being married to a computer geek that likes to build them for you. :)

Today the girls and I decided we needed to get out and spend some one on one time. So we went to the bookstore and looked around, knocked over a display and rearranged their bookshelves so you'll never be able to find the book by it's author. It was a good time and they overall did a good job in the store while they waited for mom to find her books. We then picked up some Wendy's. They are always so excited when they actually get to have a happy meal. They normally don't. They asked me if they got to have a toy this time. Their faces just light up when I said yes. "Mirian we get a toy!"
So we took it to the park and had a picnic on a blanket. They then got to play on the playground for a while. It was exactly what I needed. Just time with them.

Today I have been listening to the General Conference from our church which I missed this last weekend. It's been wonderful to listen to it slow and let it sink in. Today I listened to a talk given by Sister Beck who is over the women's organization in our church called "Mothers Who Know". Such a good one. You can listen to it here if your needing a good reminder of your role as a mother. So I've been pondering it all day and my lesson that I'm supposed to teach in Relief Society (Our Church's Women's Meeting) on Sunday of the topic fortifying the family. One that I'm still trying to wrap my brain around.
One of the things that has really stuck in my mind though is a talk I heard yesterday about fellow shipping in church. Really taking care of each other. Serving each other, and knowing what is going on in the lives of those around us, and being the first there to serve and help. It can be found here as well. It's called Enduring together. He kept repeating this statement (which has really stuck in my mind. "When it happens to one, it happens to all." Meaning that when we are really involved in each others life, helping, serving and being there for each other; then when adversity and trials hit, we are all involved in it as well.

It has hit me so hard because of something Beau informed me of when he got back from his Bishopric meeting last night. A couple of weeks ago the girls and I were outside playing. An older gentleman that goes to our church walked by with his groceries. We normally see him everyday when we play outside, we've seen him at church. He walks a long distance every day for exercise and seems pretty on top of it.

This one day I saw him and he looked horrible! He was white as a ghost and could barely walk. I talked to him and asked him how things were going, and he didn't say much. I asked Beau about him later that day. If he knew if he had been sick, or if something was wrong with him. He didn't know. It was just such a huge change from how we've normally seen him. I got busy and forgot about him.

Last night Beau came in and asked me if I remembered seeing him and asking about if he had been sick. He told me that he had died sometime in the last couple of days. He told me that about a week ago another man in our church stopped by his house and knocked on the door, no one answered. He could hear sounds inside so went in. He found this dear brother stuck between the bathtub and the toilet where he had fallen and gotten stuck. He had been there for 3 days. 3 DAYS. I felt terrible. He had been stuck with no help, probably praying for help, maybe even unconscious. 3 days is a long time when waiting. They got him to the hospital and a few days later he died of an aneurysm. They don't know if he has any family, they have no one to contact and it is just so sad to me, that this man was so alone. It shouldn't be that way. Of course I felt guilty for not doing something when I noticed he was sick. I could have at least stopped by and offered him dinner, or to help, or just checked in on him.

Plus it has also made me realize that in the end I don't want to be alone. I hope that I haven't kept to myself so much over the years, that people don't know the difference if I'm around or not. I want my family to be involved, visiting with me, checking on me and making sure I'm ok. I don't want to get to that point and be alone.

The whole situation has just made me sick, and feel horrible for this poor man. It's made me want to do better, pay more attention, serve those around me more, and know what is going on in their lives. Serving them so when something happens to them, something happens to me as well.

I also listened to a talk found here on the importance of daily writing down things that happened during the day that the Lord blessed us with, or how we saw the Lord's hand in our lives. Ironically I was starting to do this with my Cherish book that I posted about on Your Actual. But it made me realize the importance of doing in a DAILY basis. So maybe that's my thoughts tonight. I've just had so many things going through my head from the retreat, the last couple of days, and have felt a need to write about them. Put them down and remember them.

This was a long post. Sorry. But if anything it wasn't for you, it was more for me. A chance to think out loud and remember these things that I've been pondering about the last couple of days.

I promise a shorter post next time! :)

Peace

I so needed this. Early this morning we left our kids with a babysitter and Beau and I went and spent a couple of hours at the temple. It felt so good to be there. Quiet, peaceful, no rush, no outside cares. Just time to think, ponder, rejuvenate, serve and remember what is most important in life. I don't do this enough. I resolved to change that this morning. I need this more than I need anything else.

It gave me time to think and ponder again those questions we have so often. Why am I here and what should I be doing. Not as a general question but one very specific to Shalae. What is Shalae supposed be doing here right now to help build the Lord's kingdom. What does Shalae need to do more right now to feel the spirit more in her life. What does Shalae need to be doing right now with her talents and gifts. What does Shalae need to do right now to be a better mother, wife and disciple of Christ.

The best part? It feels good to get answers. To sit and ponder there where it's quiet, where your at peace, and to feel answers. And if there wasn't an answer given there to know that there would be an answer if I keep seeking one.

My friend Mandy had a great post on her blog yesterday. One that I've been thinking about since I read it. I think she's much farther ahead in her journey than she even realizes. But her thoughts kept bringing me back to one of my favorite sayings. I heard it again the other day when we were watching a movie and I remembered how much I love it.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually who are you not to be? You were a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Nelson Mandella

So as for you Mandy. You just keep doing what your doing. You're already liberating more people from their fears than you know. Be yourself, which is something great and eventually it'll come to you, you'll have a clearer idea of what you need to do, and you'll be shown the way. Just enjoy the journey.


I took these photos this last New Years when we were in Las Vegas for a vacation. It had been 5 years since Beau and I had been back there. It's the place we fell in love and these are photos of the Las Vegas Temple where were married. We were able to sneak away from the kids one night and go walk around and remember how grateful we are to have found each other, and how truly wonderful marriage has been to us these last 5 years.

I have been wanting to do something with them and hang them in our room so that we can remember those covenants we made with each other and the Lord. Yesterday I was looking at some crafting sites and ran across a way I want to use them. So I hope to show you here in a bit - some finished decorating of our room using these photos we took.

It's been a good day, and I'm determined to make the whole day that way. To not loose the peace I felt this morning by jumping right back into the hectic, busy, scheduled life that always requires one more thing to do. I'm going to take it easy, do some reading, studying, enjoy my kids, and finish up a few projects... if I have the time. It's going to be a good day.

More Waiting

It is amazing how things can change so drastically and quickly, without you ever realizing it. I am now waiting along with my family to see how things go with the newest edition to our family. My sister was due in 2 months, everything seemed normal until a week ago. An unexpected ultrasound found things wrong with the baby. The heart is too big and has a aneurysm growing on the side of it as well as water on the brain.

Through tests and meetings with cardiologists, it is extremely rare and they haven't seen anything like it. So the future holds lots of questions, wonder, and waiting for them. The baby might not make it till birth, or during or after birth. Since it's so rare they aren't sure what to expect, although we are all having faith and will take it day by day and see what the future brings. Miracles still happen.

My heart just broke for her when she told me, and throughout the last couple of weeks of prayer, fasting, and thoughts there are times where my heart just turns to them and all they must be going through. I can not even comprehend it. Being a mother myself I imagine that it has to be the hardest thing to go through, and they will have months ahead of very hard times. I hope they know how much we love them, and how we hurt for them.

I often find myself thinking of them during the days and just crying for the loss of the perfect baby they had been awaiting this whole time, as well as for the hard days ahead of them. Of all people they will be strong and be able to handle it, and hopefully I can be there to help lighten their load during it. My brother in law mentioned how grateful they are that they have moved closer to family in the last year, as they are going to be in need of all the help and support that they can get.

And despite whatever the outcome happens they know he's sealed to them and is eternally theirs whether in this life or the next. How amazing is that blessing and how grateful I am that God has made it possible for families to sealed together eternally... that this life is not the end. This has been the first time where something has hit so close to home that I feel the power of that promise and am so grateful for it.

It's amazing how the lord can test your faith by simply making you wait.

Teaching The Truth

I just had one of those moments with Savannah that are very trying, but very worthwhile after the whole ordeal.

We've been trying really hard to encourage the value of modesty in our home. We encourage them to make sure that they wear modest clothing to try keep their bodies covered, as we believe that our bodies are sacred and should be taken care of and treated as such.

Well Savannah, understands this. She knows what modesty is. She can tell you exactly what modesty is and what it isn't. But that doesn't mean that she always cares to be modest. In fact she loves to wear her sister's clothes which are always 2 sizes too small. So the pants are super tight, barely cover her bottom, and ride up to her knees. The shirts look like the 80's belly shirts.

Well this morning she was adamant! She wanted to wear this outfit. So of course being the frustrated mom, I tried technique one: "That outfit is not modest, go change it right now." Which results in tantrums and timeouts, angry kids and an even more frustrated mom... not the right way to parent I'm sure.

So the second method. Try to help her convince herself that she needs to change. "Savannah that outfit is not modest, I can see your stomach and when you bend over we can see your bottom. How are you going to change that?" Being the very smart girl she is.. replied with the answer. "I'll pull my shirt down and I just won't bend over." How are you going to do that when you play and are picking things up?" I asked. "I'll sit down first so I don't have to bend over (as she demonstrates the technique)..." It worked but we still weren't getting to the issue.

Finally I had her come over and look me in the eyes while we talked. "Savannah, the prophet, President Hinkley, has asked all the girls in the church - you, me, Emily, Amanda, Laurilyn (her good friends), all of us, to wear modest clothing. He asked us to keep our bodies sacred by keeping them covered, and to wear clothes that aren't too tight. Who does the prophet talk to? That's right.. Jesus Christ. He talks to Jesus Christ, because Christ tells the prophet what he wants us to do. So Christ asked the prophet to tell us that we need to keep our bodies sacred, and modest." At this point she stopped me and said "I'll go change my clothes." "That's a good choice Savannah. Because do you know what happens when we choose to disobey and not follow the prophet? The scriptures teach us and show us. If we do not follow him and obey him, then the spirit leaves from our lives and Satan is left to tempt us."

"What is tempt?" she asks. "It means that Satan will try and make us do bad things."

With that she ran off into the room and appeared later wearing her own clothes that were modest and gave me a big hug because she felt better. She felt good knowing she had made a right decision.

It made me realize all too often it's easy to demand as a parent, tell them what they need to do and enforce it. Sometimes it works to think it out with them and help them come to the conclusion on their own. But most important... the most important way to teach is to teach truth. Often times I forget assuming they are too little. They are not too little, the spirit bears witness to them, just as it does to us. They know what is good, they know what is true, and they have a desire to be good. Once she was taught the doctrine and the truth, she acted herself. Truth is the most powerful teaching tool we have, and I need to learn to use it more as a parent.

Purpose of My Talents

This is one my favorite quotes that I ran across a while ago. I used to have it hanging on my wall but when we moved the original one got lost, so I remade the sign to hang up again in my studio. I've been given a great talent and gift by God. I'm responsible to make sure I'm using it for the purposes he intended it to be used. If I do so it will grow and develop into something beyond anything I can ever comprehend or do on my own. If I choose it do art for solely my own purposes I will short myself. I am already amazed at how he has developed it and made it grow so far. It is truly amazing what he can do with the gifts he's given us.