My sister called me up the other day wanting to know if I was ok, since it had been a few weeks since I had posted on my blog. My answer. We're doing great, just had lots going on during the holidays and just haven't felt the need or desire to blog yet.
Have you ever had so many thoughts going on in your head that needed processing. Although your dying to get them all down on paper and write them all out, you just can't yet. That's what I've been experiencing lately.... so many thoughts intertwining with each other, overlapping, connected and yet completely different and all trying to make sense. They are now slowly starting to fall into place. Which means that I'm slowly starting to have a desire to blog again.... I finally feel like I'll have some things to say.
I enjoyed our holidays and time we were able to spend with family. It was exhausting and refreshing all at the same time. I truly felt like I enjoyed my holidays this year compared to other years where I made myself too busy and waited too long to finish projects up. With these end of the year festivities automatically comes that desire to start making goals, start thinking of big ideas. Things I want to do, accomplish and be by the end of the year. Goals for my family. I'm naturally built that way, I love making goals and trying to accomplish them. There is something about evaluating things at the moment and trying to figure out how to grow from there.
So in the process I recognized a lot of things that needed changing and things that I really wanted to work on this year. They began to fall around a theme.... which made me fall on the idea (that many of my friends do) of choosing an overall word for the year to focus on and work towards. I totally bombed out on the word I chose last year. I can't even remember what it was. But the word I chose for this year felt right in every way. It was about things I have pondering and it had lots of potential for growth. I knew I had it. I knew it was something I could actually do. I had it all planned, I was even going to write my big blog post about it.
Then it completely got thrown aside after talking to a friend of mine at Beau's Lab party. She said some things that has had my mind reeling for the last four days. She competely undid my word for this year and gave me a new word.
Specifically. LISTEN TO THE STILL SMALL VOICE.
I realized that all changes, all questions, all goals, all hopes, all things I wanted to do for the year could be answered and made better by listening to the guidance of the spirit. Too often I'm too busy, ignore or don't take the time to sincerely listen for the spirit about matters or pray specifically for direction. How much better would my life be as well as my family's by the end of the year, if the only simple thing I did in my life was try to be more intune to the spirit. More worthy of it's presence, more obedient in following in it's promptings. Taking a very active participating role in seeking the spirit.
The other night I was studying the topic, and ran across a great verse that described the fruits of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. Have you felt those lately? Do you feel them daily? If not why? What are you feeling instead? Stress, exhaustion, lack of faith, short in patience, quick temper, unhappiness, or discouragement.
There have been a few things lately that have been bothering me and on my mind. A few times in the last couple of months that I've felt stressed. Too often I'm short tempered, and have a huge lack of patience. A few times when I questioned if I was doing the right thing.
How simple to stop and listen to the still voice deep inside of us that is trying to show us, guide us and let us know what would ultimately make us happier, help our families and be what the Lord wanted. During a couple of moments in the last week I stopped to let that small voice guide me and show me what was making things hard and difficult. And then he give me the peace and assurance that it was ok to make changes, to drop things, to focus on what mattered.
He gave me faith and hope that it would be ok, it would work out even though from our mind it wasn't possible. He reminded me what is ultimately my biggest and most important responsiblity in this world - my children. Being a mother, spending time with them, teaching them, developing strong relationships with them, being a better homemaker and wife. That is all that matters, and anything else that was affecting, harming or creating stress in any of those areas had to go. What do I feel now? Peace. Huge peace.... all because I decided to finally LISTEN and then DO IT.
So I hope that by the end of the year I can say that I have stopped and LISTENED. I hope to tell you that our lives were changed in incredible ways. I hope to tell you that we saw Miracles occur. I hope to tell you that I lived a year filled with peace and happiness admist life's difficulties, I hope to tell you that in the process of this, my goals were accomplished better than they could have been on their own, and that I accomplished goals I wasn't even aware that I had, because the Lord had them for me.
Now to just go and LISTEN.