A Little of Everything

It's been a while... and it's literally impossible to catch up with it all. So I'm not going to even try. Instead here's a few glimpses of thoughts, happenings, news.... anything random. :)

My kids have enjoyed the puppet theater grandma made them for Christmas. Here we are enjoying a rendition of How to Tame Your Dragon while having popcorn. Nothing gets better than this.

I'm excited about going to the BYU Basketball game tonight with my husband. Our 2nd in 9 years of attending BYU. Pathetic huh.....

I enjoyed the morning with the three kiddo's feeding ducks, playing at the park and having a picnic. It was a bit nippy, but boy did it feel good to be outdoors.

Really hoping this "new baby" joining us in August is going to be boy. I'm glad to be over the sickness, and feeling pretty decent. Everything has gone well with this pregnancy and we'll find out whether it will be that boy Isaac and I are hoping for in a couple of weeks. (Yes this is an announcement. So if you had no idea, you aren't the only one.)

I'm really excited for this contest with spoonflower and Michael Miller Fabrics. It never hurts to try right! :)

After years of getting up early and having my time in the morning to myself, I'm about to go nuts with the habit our children have gotten into of also getting up at 5:30 in the morning ready to go. All of them awake by 6:00. Where have my quiet mornings gone! (I've always wanted to have my kids get in the habit of arising early, and to bed early.... but now my selfish wants are really fighting this.) So either I have to get up earlier, or figure out how to deal with this issue.....

Since we were up early, and everyone was ready way before school today we enjoy a little bit of competition between the kids having a tug of war, leg wrestling and stick pulling. It was great!

Just a small taste of life right now.

Great thought

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.
- Albert Schweitzer


Who has continually lit the flame within me?

My childhood friend Kristin Fielding
My mother
My brother in law Nic Delgado
My husband
Mandy Steward
A religion professor Gerald Hansen

Special moments when the Lord has rekindled it through promptings of the spirit or the scriptures.
Various random people throughout my life that said or did one thing that change my perspective, showed me an incredible example, or made me want to change.

Thank you. I am who I am because of you.

(Thanks Mindy for sharing this quote - made me really think. Photo by Peter Brown (Zadok the Priest) on flickr.)

Blessed #3

I had no idea what I was getting myself into 3 years ago when I applied at ScrapGirls to be a designer. I was just looking for an option for a creative outlet, and yet help out a little while Beau was going to school while things were a little tight. I thought it would be a great way to be home with my kids, still do my art and bring in a little extra.

I was not prepared for the incredible friendships I would make with people all over the world. I was not prepared for the amazing creative feast it is for me to work with my fellow designers. They are so amazingly talented and push me so much in my own creative work. They are good, amazing, wonderful caring people. They are wonderful friends. One of the things that I missed the most when I graduated from college was the creative environment I had on a daily basis with other artists. I missed it more than I thought, and working with these amazing ladies has filled a huge void there. It has been so wonderful!

I never knew the wonderful people that I would meet and get to know through the boards, our customers, our layout team, our welcoming team etc. These ladies are incredible. It's so fun to work with people of different backgrounds, different faiths, who all love each other, care for each other and enjoy each other so much.

I never knew when I applied how lucky I would be to work with Ro (the owner) and Valerie (the Partner) and their management team... brandie, angie, and other behind the scenes people... Heidi, Laurel. The dedication that these ladies have to not only making an incredible site, but to create an incredible place to be, and a wonderful community to be a part of is humbling. It was so amazing to attend convention this October. To meet people literally all over the world, people from all walks of life who love and are so accepting of each other. You feel like you are just old friends., but really just meeting for the first time. It's an amazing experience.

I'm so blessed to be able to work with them all online, and yet get to hang out with them and meet up with them at least once or twice a year. I get to help our family out financially with the extra money and what a huge blessing that is. These last three years I have been able to grow so much in my own artistic abilities which has amazed me.

Right now I am SO grateful for this little purple place and all the people that are a part of it.

Welcome Caitlyn!

Well we have officially welcomed Caitlyn into the world. We got to the hospital around 3 for the induction yesterday and got started. It went pretty slow until they broke my water, and then I went from a 4 to delivery in an hour. It's probably a good thing the water didn't break on it's own earlier. I always get so nervous when I come in. I hate needles, I hate getting the epidural even though it makes the labor so much better. So I always dread it. Probably because the last two deliveries I've had to have the epidural redone, which is never fun when your in pain. But this time it went smooth, the best epidural I've ever gotten and I had the easiest delivery. I'm feeling amazing compared to the other births too. I haven't needed any pain medication since we delivered her and besides just being tired everything has gone sooo well. I definitely have so much to be grateful for.

She was 7 lbs. 12 oz and 19 inches long. She's bigger than my other two girls were but she is smaller than Isaac was. She is a cutie with lots of dark hair. We are in love with her.

The girls are as well, wanting to hold her, and fighting over who gets to hold her and for how long. I'm afraid I'm going to have two little over helpful mommies at home.

Isaac was pretty excited about seeing her as well, practically laid on her so he could get right up close. When we asked him where the baby was immediately patted her face, rather than mom's stomach. When Isaac was born when we asked Mirian where the baby was she would still pat mom's stomach.

So life is good with us. We'll be going home tomorrow and resting while my mom is here to help out for a while. We are truly blessed to have this little one.

Little Blessings

I love those little moments and blessings that just pop into your life totally unexpected where the Lord shows tender mercy to you. The last month and half, I've been giving up my free afternoon where my kids are playing at the neighbors to help a sister and her family who has been on bedrest. It's been my own time to run errands, work on designing, clean the house, rejuvenate, etc. It has been really good for me, but it's also been stressful as I have felt behind not having that time.

Last night I was trying to determine in my mind where the line is of making sure I'm taking care of our family and our needs by saying no to helping, and when I should be serving and helping others when they so desperately need it like our Savior has taught us that we should do. Last night in thoughts and little prayers, of asking where that line is, what should I do? What would he have me do... I still determined to go and make it work, despite how much I needed a quiet break for myself.

I was just about head over there for the afternoon when I the phone rang. It was this dear sister calling to let me know that her husband came home early to help because they were unable to work in the snow. (We had a freak blizzard this morning. Which I was groaning about because I wanted spring.) Little did I know the blessing of that snow. That phone call made my day and gave me that little warm feeling that the Lord is aware. He's known how hard it has been, he knows I'm trying and he was saying "Here are 3 totally unexpected hours just for you... go refill your empty bucket."

Supplies Used: Ponder Collection, Blossoms and Blooms: Fall Embellishment Biggie

Spring

The snow is almost gone here, and last week it was warm enough to be outside without a coat and for my kids that meant shoes as well. It was great. It's probably just taunting me though since it's been a bit nippier this week. Either way, I'm feeling it...

So I finished up my new "springy" collection yesterday. We'll show it off here in a few days. It felt so good to get a collection done again. I don't do many of them, and I need to do more.

I'm feeling the spring cleaning bug slowly hit, I'm ready to tackle this apartment and get rid of stuff. If it doesn't have a place it's saying goodbye! I've got to make it easier to keep this place clean with my crazy life, and I need to have a better routine. So we're going to get rid of the stuff that is just taking up space and creating more work for me.

My little garden is calling my name, wanting to be cleaned and prepped for some seeds. I'm about ready to tell my husband it's time to buy a house, because I'm just itching to have a bigger garden.

I've had some people ask about Digital Scrapbooking and how to get started. (Don't worry I'm not ignoring your emails, it's just been a hectic couple of days.) I thought I would post about it here for all those other inquiring minds wanting to know. Hopefully I'll get a starting up post today.

I've started my artistic edge photo class, which I'm so excited about. I already learned something the first day, and am pumped to go out and take some photos and start working wonders on them!

Today is all about tackling the house, and starting to get rid of stuff, getting caught up on the endless pile of laundry and getting a bit more organized. I've got a lesson and a talk to prepare for church on Sunday... and some time with the kids. It's going to be a good day, or GREAT day as my husband would say.

A New Day

It is a new day, and I'm going to make the most of it. We were supposed to be up at 5 to get started on it, and the alarm never went off.... so we've got to start cracking it now! I've got a couple of hours that I'm helping the sick sister again this morning, and and couple of hours without the kids to either clean up the house or design... I wonder which one will win over. :) I've been dying to design for days, and no time has allowed, so I'm going to give it some time this today. This weekend we'll be heading to Idaho for to bless my new sisters little baby.

Beau has got a little over a week to get his 80 page thesis done. Poor guy, feeling a little pressure lately, especially when he is really short on time. But we're going to get something done today and we're just going to go do it.


Supplies Used:

Dynamic Brushes: Decorative Stitch 4901 Biggie
Mulberry Wine Collection Mini
ScrapSimple Paper Templates: Corrugated
Fancy Free Collection Biggie
A Mom to Be Collection Mini

Let It Go.

It's been one of those days. Nothing went as planned. I had so much I wanted to do, and so much that I NEEDED to do. Get caught up on housework, go play with the kids outside, babysit for my neighbor, and finish up a few new products for today. Sometimes you have to just let it all go and at the end of the day not think about what you didn't do, or didn't accomplish but instead what you did do.

Early this morning I got a phone call from a lady in our church who is on bedrest, has two small children and just recently delivered her third. She is still having problems after the birth and has been in the hospital quite a bit. She is now home but needs help all day. Our church has tried to arrange times for people to go in and help her, but today they didn't have the day filled and those that were scheduled canceled.

She called me up wondering if I knew of anyone that could help her. Isaac had just gone down for a nap, and I was supposed to babysit my friends 3 kids here shortly. I spent a good 30 minutes to an hour looking for someone that could help, and was able to get a hold of one sister that said she could help at 12:30, which was a couple of hours away. The poor sister needed help right now.

I talked to my friend and she willing took my kids on spur of the moment, while I spent the morning helping this sick sister until someone else could come and take a shift. I then needed to take my replacement's two kids with me since she couldn't have them at the sisters house who was trying to rest. I spent the rest of my day watching 7 kids under the age of 4. I was so grateful for the sister that volunteered to help me out, and another one that called me back and offered to help later that afternoon too taking care of this sick sister. It was such a blessing and I am so grateful for them.

By the time Beau got home from school and 6 hours later when the last kid finally left, I was beat and still am. Beau tells me "Just think, watching all these kids 7 or 8 of them at a time, is just getting you warmed up and practiced up for number 4 when it arrives. When it comes, 4 will seem like a breeze." No kidding. My house is still not cleaned, the laundry is still piled up, the kid's bedroom is even more messy, dinner was overdone (and none of the kids wanted to eat it), no designing happened, and we had some last minute visitors that were here for about an hour.

That's the point that you have to let it go. Instead you need to think of the fact that you helped a poor sister who really needed your help, you did get some of the dishes done, you helped two other sisters by taking care of their kids so they could serve, and do what they needed to do. You got dinner made, which at one point was looking like it was impossible, and you did get to enjoy about 30 minutes of fresh spring air outside while the kids ran out all their energy. Thank goodness for springtime, fresh air, warm weather, a husband who understands why I'm completely wiped out when he gets home, a dear friend who was willing to take my kids at last minute this morning so I could go and help and the fact that there is always tomorrow to get today's stuff done, and it will really be ok. Just let it go. Just go crawl in bed and get some sleep.

Headache

Wow what a couple of busy days. Yesterday was spent working on a project trying to finish it up, doing things around the house, playing with the kids and having an overall really productive good day. This morning I woke up exhausted (I've been having trouble sleeping lately... annoying) and have had one massive headache all day. Spent the morning in Salt Lake babysitting my sisters kids, and rushed home to be less than productive with this pounding behind my eyes. It's 8:00 and my husband is working late on his research helicopter for some film crew coming tomorrow. So I might just call it a night and go crawl in bed.

A Reminder

Lately there are a lot of people talking about their word for the year. A word that they've picked to be their 'motto' or their 'goal'... something for them to work at consistently or be aware of. Part of me liked the idea, and part of me didn't want to do it just because everyone else was doing it as well. I guess I'm just one that goes against the crowd. Then the more that I've been making goals, I coming back to this statement by Spencer W. Kimball.

Do it.
Do it right.
Do it right now.

I haven't been able to get it out of my head. So finally yesterday I broke down and decided to have a word as well, but still break from the crowd a bit and have it be two words. :) Do it. To remind me of this whole saying. It's something I really need to work on, and want to me more aware of. Too often I put things off. Or when I do them I'll do only the mediocre job, or only part of the job resulting in wasting time having to come back and do it again. I need to just do it right the first time. Then I need to get rid of procrastination and do it right now. I so need to get better at all of this. When I do I'm much more happier, less stressed, and have more time on my hands. Isn't it weird that sometimes we procrastinate thinking it will give us more time to do other things now if we put it off till later. But I find that most of the time, it eats at the the back of my mind, so I don't fully feel like I can dedicate time to other things, until this one thing is done first. Hence I waste time.

So I've had fun seeing some fun ideas to do with the word at Ali's blog as well as her latest Ezine newsletter. Plus I'm also loving her weekend creative that she's starting.

So that's my goal for the new year.

Do it.

Think of all I could get accomplish if I do.

Favorites from California

Thought I'd share a few of my favorite pictures from our trip to California. Another weekend gone. They go way too fast I tell you. We had a pretty decent one. We had the chance to catch up with our friends on Saturday for dinner. Sunday Beau sent me off to a church fireside where I could relax and get some spiritual nourishment while he put the kids to bed. It was great. I learned some amazing stuff.

Monday... well maybe we should just ignore this day. We survived. I was an emotional basket case, and my poor husband got the brunt of it. He never deserves it, and he is always doing an amazing job that is somehow clouded in my high run of emotions. Like both he and I knew, after some sleep, the next day was so much better and the world was definitely not coming to an end from my point of view. I've been exhausted though. Our kids are NOT sleeping well, which means I DON'T sleep well! They each take a turn every couple of hours coming in or hollering at us. All I want is some sleep. Real sleep so I can actually be productive rather than shuffling around half out of it.

So that's our reality lately. No sleep, lots of things going on, and trying to balance our time so we at least have some time with each other and our family. One good thing though. Beau and I actually had a date night! Yeah! We went and enjoyed a movie together. With popcorn and the works, and dinner later that evening. You never realize how hectic life is and how busy you are until you have some time together. Then you realize how much you've missed each other. Thank goodness for good friends who are willing to swap babysitting every other week for dates!

Life is Short.

It's been one of those nights for some serious contemplating. Last night I ran across the story of the loss of Jody Ferlaak's daughter in an accident. I could not stop the tears, their situation with their kids ran too close to the age of my three kids, and I felt so much for them. I can not imagine how hard that must have been, and the thought of it ever happening to me scares me to death. I could not imagine living without any of my kids. They are too much a part of me and part of my life, and I can not imagine how devastated I would be. It made me really understand how blessed I have been to have not had to experience a tragedy in my life. I truly have been blessed, and know that in some way, some day we will have to experience something as personally heart wrenching for us. It is only through things like this that you develop a relationship with God if you choose too and are made strong through your trials. But I do not want to go through it and hope I never do.

But life is short. You never know. Life can change instantly. It made me wonder if my family knows I love them. If my faith is strong enough to survive something like that. If I have an individual wonderful relationship with my kids and husband. Am I willing to accept whatever the Lord hands me.

Then tonight we received a phone call from my mom. Three men in my home ward (church congregation) that I grew up with were all killed in an avalanche tonight. They are still trying to find their bodies. This hit pretty close to home. I think about their families, my friends, my family' friends, and how I can not imagine the grief they must going through right now. It was so unexpected. They had no idea. These wives did not know they would be widows before night fall. One of them has 4 kids below the age of 7. How hard to have such a young family and now be doing it alone. I think about the men and wonder if they were ready to go, were they prepared. It's just sunk in even more so tonight.

Life is short. You never know when it will be over for you, or for a family member. You can't put of preparing yourself spiritually. Now is the time to prepare to meet God. Is my faith strong enough to handle a tragedy in my life right now? Am I ready? We can't assume it won't be us because you never know. This is all just temporary.

My heart and prayers go out for their families right now, as they really have to be hurting. Somehow through it all they will find a way to make it through much like the Ferlaak Family has. Because you have to, but mostly because the Lord can help you do it. He is there if we let him be.

It's been forever

Wow! It has been forever since I've logged in here and posted something. That's what happens over the crazy holidays. We had a great Christmas and New Year and hope all of you did as well. 2 days after Christmas we made a road trip to California with Beau's family for a week vacation.


It was a great time and we came home exhausted. After a couple of days of relaxing and trying to catch up we are finally getting back to normal. School started up with Beau and I'm trying to start the new year out right by not getting caught up in a crazy stressful life. I've been getting things done, and taking time to enjoy life as well. It's been good. I have so much going through my mind though that I've been dying to share and hope to post here soon. A new year, new beginnings, new thoughts, new directions... life is good.

Thick Fog

Well I'm dealing with thick fog here. Not the kind created by mother nature, but the kind that is in my head. I'm still battling this major head cold, and then yesterday we added allergies to it. Yuck! I can't breathe, my whole head is stuffed up and I can't THINK for the life of me. I hate this feeling. I've been completely unproductive it feels because I just can't put two and two together. Right now I would much rather have mother nature's fog.

Loving These!

I just got done reading Mandy's Blog, and loved the stuff she shared today. I did not know you played guitar! That is so cool! But I have had these things that I've wanted to blog about forever, but just keep putting them off. So since I've been gone all week and haven't blogged, I thought I would share my favorites for the day as well. (Yes I'm downright stealing your blog topic Mandy!)I have been re-reading this book the last couple of days Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn. I just love it! Somethings I know I would never do, but it gets me thinking about all the things I waste. Money being one of them. It helps me start to realize, I don't need to have everything, and life would be better if we learned to conserve a little bit. This last week our landlords raised our rent $350 bucks as well. This means we are now in a position, that we begin to wonder if we are better off putting all this money into our own house rather than renting. So now begins the decisions of whether to stay or move. If we're going to be paying this much money, we might as well be renting a house rather than an apartment, or start making our own mortgage payments, or see if we can find something cheaper. Which has started me thinking about how we can start cutting back... hence the Tightwad Gazette!

I love this book! They also have another one out called Journal Revolution, but right now this is my favorite of the two. I haven't had a chance to finish reading all of Journal Revolution though. This book is all about art journals, and how to start one no matter who you are. It breaks it down so it is so easy, and gives some great prompts and ideas of how to start. I've never had an art journal, and yet I love the ones I see from other people. So this has given me a chance to actually start doing some for myself and I have been loving it. My post for this week at Your Actual, was one of the first ones I tried. (You'll have to go check it out especially because I love Mandy's post for the week! Awesome Artwork!) So if you've ever wanted to have an art journal, or your needing a jump on your creativity or needing some great prompts for layouts, art or journals go check this book out!

And this. This has to be one of my favorite things of all time! I have officially made myself Blurb's new publicity person. I am going to promote these guys like mad! I have been looking for publishing places where I could print a nice book either of my layouts, family history, art, our wedding, etc. That was the problem. Lots of things I wanted printed in books and a limited amount of money in the pocket. The cheapest I could find was books that were printed with only 20 pages, for around $30.00. And then the covers were not what I wanted. I wanted a nice printed cover that I could design. Some ranged even in the $50 - $75 range when I could design my own cover. Talk about frustrating! I decided I would never have one, until I started raking in LOTS of money, which wasn't going to be happening anytime soon.

So my cousin emailed me the link to this site, because we've been in the process of putting together a family cookbook and finding places to print. She ran across this goldmine! I can get a 7 x 7, soft cover book of 40 pages for only $13.00! I can design the whole thing anyway I WANT IT! Even the cover! They look nice, and professional. You can get get hard bound as well. They have various sizes of books, as well as cover options. If I wanted I can even up the pages to 80, and it's only $16.95. That's 4 times the amount of pages that I could get from the cheapest site I could find and for 1/2 the price! All the prices for the various books are very reasonable and super cheap compared to all the other places I've been checking out. They have a program that you download to your computer which lets you create the book. It's very easy to use. I still have not got one officially printed yet (but I am working on it). So hopefully they don't fail me there. But even then if it doesn't turn out perfect, I don't feel as ripped off paying only $13.00 instead of $30 for a smaller book.

You can order one or you can order 100's. If you order more than 10 of one book, they have discount prices. You can even set it up in a store on their site, where your family or others can come and purchase the book.

So have I convinced you yet? If not you've got to go try it out, and here in a few months I'll post my finished book and show you how the service really turned out!

Life is Short

Life has been rather interesting for us lately. This last weekend we drove back home to Wyoming to spend time with Family over the Thanksgiving holidays. It was a nice couple of quiet relaxing days. Beau and I have been planning on leaving the kids with the grandparents after the break while we came back home and I traveled with him to Lake Tahoe, NV where he had a conference that he was to present at. The plan was 4 days of no children and just enjoying the chance to be together.

Well life has ways of changing your plans. My grandfather has been battling cancer for the last year, but they recently found out just 2 or 3 weeks ago, that there was more that had consumed some very vital parts of his body. They didn't know how much longer he had left, and it was sort of left at that. My mom spent Thanksgiving at his place where she was taking care of him and helping out my grandma. Well he went quickly, 2 weeks later he died this last Friday night.

Since she was unable to watch the kids since she was taking care of him and he seemed to be going fast I decided I was going to stay home and not go on the conference. After he passed away, Beau made other arrangements for his paper to be presented and stayed home with me, so we could all attend the funeral. He has no idea how much that meant to me. I was really not looking forward to wrestling 3 kids at a funeral all by myself. I instead wanted to be able to actually listen, sing and enjoy the opportunity to be there rather than missing the whole thing because of 3 kids.

So the next couple of days we'll be in Idaho with family.

It's given me some things to think about and you'll hear more of it in my "Your Actual" post tomorrow. I did have this photo that now means quite a bit to me. The last time I got to spend time with my grandpa was this last August at our family reunion. He had a couple of good days between all the cancer treatments and was able to come out and participate in the reunion with us. Isaac who would not let anyone hold him, actually let grandpa hold him and fell asleep in his arms for a couple of hours. I had hoped that I would get the chance to see him one last time before he went, but because of very sick kids, we were unable to run up and see him. So this photo was my last memory of him, which was a really good one.

I have a strong belief that families are eternal, that this life is not the end. That although his body is left here, his spirit is as alive as it was here, and that he lives beyond the veil with God and all of our family who have passed on. I know he is there. I know he is alive and well, and not suffering like he did here. He is very much aware of me and my family.He still lives because of our Savior Jesus Christ, and will one day be resurrected. So although I will miss him, to me it's not the end, it's just a temporary separation. But it still makes me think of lots of lost moments in this life. Moments when we could spend more time with each other, listen more, serve each other more and most of all let people know how much we love them and how much they have influenced our lives. He knows all of that now, and has probably always known it, but how could it have affected him and influenced him more so during his earthly life if I had told him more often. Or if I had really told him how he has influenced my life. Life is too short. We need to stop waiting to let me people know how we feel about them. We need to tell them today, because what kind of impact could those few words have on them right now if they heard them.

Don't wait to tell someone. Tell them right now.

All Part of a Plan

You know, sometimes I just don't feel like scrapping my latest photo of the kids, or some memory in my life or past event. Sometimes I feel like putting down what I'm feeling at this exact moment. I started out trying to find a photo I could use to show some new paper templates that will be up here at the end of the week. It was not happening. I was not in the mood. I had too many things going on in my mind. To many emotions, thoughts and feelings.

A friend of mine is having a hard time right now and I just don't have words for her. I don't know what I can do to help. I can't really. The only thing I have been able to think of all night is that there is a Plan. We are all a part of it. It's the Lord plan for his children. It's encompasses all of humanity, and yet it is so personal that it is specific to me and you. Everything we will ever experience or have experienced is part of that plan. He knows what it is, and he is in charge of it.

That does not always make it easier, that does not always make it go away, or be better. But it gives us a purpose for right now. There is a time to weep, a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;... a time to every purpose under heaven. Whatever 'time' we are in right now, the weeping or the laughing - we need to live it. Experience it, grow from it, learn from it, and have faith that he knows what is next. Have hope and faith that he will soon give us the time to dance.

That's where my layout came tonight. My thoughts... I had to get them out someway and this is how it happened. It felt wonderful to create a part of what I felt tonight. It made me realize how much I have to be grateful for and that I need to show real gratitude for it. Despite how difficult it may be for us, someone else out there is always experiencing something harder. I never know when my season will change, so I need to make sure I'm enjoying this season of my life right now.

Expect Miracles

Some of you will recognize this bracelet. It's something that means a lot to me on so many different levels and for so many different reasons. I wear it almost every day. It reminds me of a very special moment that I had with some incredible people. People I look up to and admire so much. It reminds me of a God that has given me miracles many times. One being the opportunity to have know these incredible people. To me they are a miracle.

Today it had other meanings for me though. Today I was able to visit my family and give a name and blessing to the newest member of our family - my nephew. You might remember me writing about him here.

He arrived in our family a little over 7 weeks ago. Before he was born they found out a few more more problems that he might have, but the expected him to live even after birth for a while, until they saw how the heart would react. After that it was unknown what would happen. All went well with delivery, things seemed to be going well for him. They ended up finding out that he had even more problems with him than they originally thought. Problems with the brain, spine, spinal fluid, and still conditions with the heart. But the Lord showed us he still creates Miracles. He was released after 2 weeks in ICU and has been home with his family ever since. He is doing well. The future is still unknown, but today it was a realization of a miracle, a witness that God is still fully active in our lives.

The saying "expect miracles" is also giving me hope. Lately life has thrown me a huge curve ball. I have to deal with it somehow. I want to personally change in order to really be able to handle it. I know the Lord's hand was in all of it and because I know that, I know that I can expect miracles within myself. Miracles to change, to be better, and to know what to do. Miracles can happen personally inside of me.

Another one I'm hoping for is my brother. He is a great brother. He is a REALLY good guy. He has so much to offer in this world. But he struggles, and for some reason hasn't had a desire to serve a mission and share the gospel. He has struggled wanting to know what to do with his life. What direction to take it. I want more than anything for him to serve a mission, because I know how it will change him forever, what it will make him, and who he'll become. He only has a few more years that he is eligible to serve. I don't want him to miss that opportunity. Part of me, has sort of given up on that hope for him. Trying to be ok with whatever else he decides. But not today. After spending the day with him, and wanting that for him so badly, I looked down at my bracelet and realized I have not been expecting miracles concerning him. The Lord can create miracles, and he can create one in my brother. I hope he knows that. I hope he reads this. I hope he knows that I'm not letting go of that hope for him, and that I'm going to be praying hard for a miracle to happen in his life. It will happen. God can do anything.

So today I'm thankful for a little bracelet, and 2 little words to help me have more faith, to live where miracles happen, and to thank my Father in Heaven for those miracles when he blesses me with them. Go ahead "expect miracles" in your life too.

Does it Really Matter?

I have a pet peeve. It's a really big pet peeve. It's when people disregard you as an artist if they find out that do things on the computer. To them you are only an artist, if you draw or paint it by hand. Any use of the computer somehow no longer makes you an artist. For some reason you don't have to have any talent to be able to use the computer to create things.

I often wish I could take them straight to the computer, set them down in front of it. Open up a blank canvas in Adobe and say go for it. Create it. If it requires no skills or talents to be able to be creative on the computer, then you should have no problem sitting down and creating exactly what I've done here. I've never had the guts to do this, I just fume inside instead. I'm sure I would probably hear a whole bunch of explanations of what they "really" meant. Honestly though, deep down they don't believe it. They somehow think the computer does it for you and that it makes it look better.

Does it really matter how you choose to create your art? Does it really matter if you prefer pen or paint, over clay or metal. Does it really matter if you use the computer, or if you do it by hand. No it doesn't. Because it's not the medium that's the artist or the creator. It's the person. They are the one with the idea, the image, the artwork and the skills to know how to go about creating it. Can I draw? Sure I can draw. Can I paint? You bet. So why use the computer then. Because to me, it opens up even more possible creative outlets that are virtually impossible to do with only a paper and pen. It lets me do things, and work in the way that is truly my artistic style. Plus I like to work fast. It makes it possible for me to be an artist and a mother at the same time right now. If I couldn't use the computer, I probably wouldn't be doing much art at all.

So lately I've been working on a collection that is so me. It's the fine artist in me. I am not approaching it in anyway related to scrapbooking. In fact some of the papers are not scrapbooking type papers. They can be hard to use, but they can be used in amazing, incredible ways when you don't think of them in scrapbooking terms. I have had so much fun playing with them, and just being artistic and creative. My husband first said to me when he saw them, "Wow those are really cool. I really like them." Then he later asked, "aren't they going to be hard to scrapbook on since they are so busy? There is so much going on in them." I thought about it, and started to panic. Thinking oh no what if you can't scrap with them and then I decided I didn't care. I was going to scrap with them the way I scrap and we'll see how they come out. When I showed him the finished layouts he said. "Wow! They look so good. Way to go, you sold them."
And really. I don't care if any of them sell. They may be difficult for some to scrap with, but I didn't create this collection for them. I created it for me. For myself as an artist. To express the way I create and do things, and to spite all those people that say you can't do it on the computer.

Real Life as a Mother

I really haven't abandoned this blog, although some of you faithful readers are probably wondering by now. I've just let life get in the way is all, but it has been a good thing too. The problem is I wait so long that I now feel like I have to catch up on so much.

Family Pictures What a joke sometimes! This last Monday we went to a corn maze and pumpkin patch and had our friends take a few pictures. Out of the 30 or so that they snapped, this was the best of them all. Of course Mirian still isn't smiling. "What? You want me to look like I'm happy about belonging in this family?!" We were definitely asking too much of her. Ironic isn't it? When you go to take a family picture you want it to look all perfect. Everyone smiling and happy. Hair fixed and looking great. Is that reality. No way. Not even close.

We had a great time going with our friends. We hunted down the hidden friends in the corn maze, saw a bunch of animals, picked out our pumpkins and jumped on the big balloon trampoline. It was an allergy nightmare, between the corn, dust, animals, and any other possible speck of allergy forming materials, but I survived and made it through without any cases of Vertigo! Thank You!

ScrapGirls Anniversary! We celebrated ScrapGirls 3rd anniversary! I can't believe that I've been with them for 2 years already. I wasn't able to join in most of the festivities of crops, classes and contests, but I sure am glad to be a part of that wonderful place.

My life as a mother lately. Friday I babysat a little girl for our friends most of the day while they packed their house up for moving the next day. She is always so easy and no trouble at all. That night our other friends dropped their three off as well, so they could have their date night together. So for 4 hours we had 7 of them here. 2 -4 year olds, 3 - 2 year olds, and 2 babies less than 14 months old. Saturday we drove up to watch my sisters kids so they could go to the temple. So once again for about 3 hours we had 8 kids. 1 - 7 year old, 1 - 5 year old, 2 - 4 year olds, 1 - 2 year old, 1 -1 1/2 year old, and a 1 month old baby. Thank goodness for Beau. If it had just been me with Isaac, crawling all over me, while I'm trying to feed the 1 month old baby, and keep him from being laid on, while the 1 1/2 year old is trying to attack Isaac, I would have lost it for sure.

It's been about that time when I start considering when I want to have another child. Is it any surprise after a weekend like this that I was feeling perfectly happy and content with my 3, and not ready for another one anytime soon. I told Beau, I have to keep telling myself when we have our 12 kids that all 12 will not be under the age of 5. That they will range from teenagers down to the younger ones. (Twelve is the number Beau always tell people when they ask how many kids we're going to have. It always gets some great facial expressions, and questions you couldn't believe. It's pretty funny. I bet you did a double take on the number as well too, huh?)

Then today I got to wrestle them during church. That is always so much fun... Beau is in the bishopric and so he sits on the stand with the other leaders, with me wrestling 3 children on the bench for over an hour. Needless to say, I have a hard time getting a whole lot of spiritual upliftment during sacrament meeting lately. Trying to convince Savannah to keep her legs down since she's wearing a dress and to stop kicking the bench in front of us. Isaac who is wired and tired at the same time since it's naptime, but there is way too much going on to want to fall asleep. Mirian always wants to sit on my lap, but doesn't want to have Isaac sit with me. So that creates a battle. There is no way I'm putting him down, he'd be off in two seconds and I'd never see him again. So we settle for fruit loops. It's amazing how quiet they'll sit there with a handful of fruitloops in their laps. But then you have to make sure they aren't dumping them on the ground. All the while, trying to keep Isaac from bursting out with these little screams because he loves to hear his voice in that large room. Most of all I try to let everyone else around me have some sort of spiritual experience while we are there with our little rambunctious ones.

Well, Isaac got tired and he drank all of his bottle, so he started getting ornery. I tried to convince my two girls to just sit there quietly while I went to fill up his bottle. Nope. Before I knew it I had a train following me out of the meeting carrying fruit loops and dropping the sippy cup which starts rolling down the aisle as I got up to leave. We managed to survive the first meeting. If I can make it through that one, then I can take them to their children's classes in primary. I just have only Isaac to deal with, and the plan is always to get him to fall asleep so I can enjoy at least the next hour or two in peace, and get some sort of spiritual insight.

Lately, they have been asking me to substitute in the primary (the children's classes) which is fine and I'm more than willing to help. But a young mother who deals with kids 24 hours a day all day, looks forward so much to Sunday when she can sit for 2 hours in the adult Sunday School and Relief Society and be spiritually nourished on an adult level. I knew for sure if one of the primary leaders came up and asked me to help today, I would have broken down in tears, and said "I can't, I can't handle being around another kid right now, I need time for me. " Luckily for me, I wasn't asked today and was actually able to enjoy the rest of my meetings.

(This is more what real life is like)

You can always ask me after a Sunday with the kids, if I'm ready for another one. With my frazzled hair, short patience, and fruitloops and formula over my one semi nice outfit, I would say no way. Not right now. Give me a little bit more time. Well today as I was wrestling them I had the thought what if the next one turned out to be twins. TWINS!! My whole body started to hyperventilate, and I thought - "NO WAY! I am not getting pregnant! I don't even want to risk it. Twins, and these three on a church bench all by myself. No Way! Beau has how many more years? 2 at least, 5 at the most.... nope. Not doing it. Hmmm how is a 5 year space between Isaac and the next one? :)

Thank goodness for a sweet single sister that was sitting behind us today. She probably didn't get anything out of the meeting as well, how could she or anyone else that was in a 20 foot radius. When they said the closing prayer and I released all the tension, and my breath I had been holding in for the last 70 minutes, she reached up and put her hand on my shoulder. "I just want you to know your my hero. Someday I want to be like you." She had no idea how much that meant. I am by far not the greatest mom in the world, but it made me feel ok about what I was doing. I must be doing at least something right. That girl made my day.

So that is life as a mom. If your a mom you completely understand and have been there yourself. It's great and it's hard. It's rewarding and wonderful and it is trying. I would never change it in a million years, and somehow down the road here, I'll be itching for another little one despite these struggles and burn outs. When it does happen, it will be great and wonderful. I will somehow learn to manage with them just as I learned to manage with one, and then with two, and then with three. Eventually I'll manage with the fourth. We'll just hope it's not a fourth and a fifth at the same time! :)