Sunday, November 25, 2007

Life is Short

Life has been rather interesting for us lately. This last weekend we drove back home to Wyoming to spend time with Family over the Thanksgiving holidays. It was a nice couple of quiet relaxing days. Beau and I have been planning on leaving the kids with the grandparents after the break while we came back home and I traveled with him to Lake Tahoe, NV where he had a conference that he was to present at. The plan was 4 days of no children and just enjoying the chance to be together.

Well life has ways of changing your plans. My grandfather has been battling cancer for the last year, but they recently found out just 2 or 3 weeks ago, that there was more that had consumed some very vital parts of his body. They didn't know how much longer he had left, and it was sort of left at that. My mom spent Thanksgiving at his place where she was taking care of him and helping out my grandma. Well he went quickly, 2 weeks later he died this last Friday night.

Since she was unable to watch the kids since she was taking care of him and he seemed to be going fast I decided I was going to stay home and not go on the conference. After he passed away, Beau made other arrangements for his paper to be presented and stayed home with me, so we could all attend the funeral. He has no idea how much that meant to me. I was really not looking forward to wrestling 3 kids at a funeral all by myself. I instead wanted to be able to actually listen, sing and enjoy the opportunity to be there rather than missing the whole thing because of 3 kids.

So the next couple of days we'll be in Idaho with family.

It's given me some things to think about and you'll hear more of it in my "Your Actual" post tomorrow. I did have this photo that now means quite a bit to me. The last time I got to spend time with my grandpa was this last August at our family reunion. He had a couple of good days between all the cancer treatments and was able to come out and participate in the reunion with us. Isaac who would not let anyone hold him, actually let grandpa hold him and fell asleep in his arms for a couple of hours. I had hoped that I would get the chance to see him one last time before he went, but because of very sick kids, we were unable to run up and see him. So this photo was my last memory of him, which was a really good one.

I have a strong belief that families are eternal, that this life is not the end. That although his body is left here, his spirit is as alive as it was here, and that he lives beyond the veil with God and all of our family who have passed on. I know he is there. I know he is alive and well, and not suffering like he did here. He is very much aware of me and my family.He still lives because of our Savior Jesus Christ, and will one day be resurrected. So although I will miss him, to me it's not the end, it's just a temporary separation. But it still makes me think of lots of lost moments in this life. Moments when we could spend more time with each other, listen more, serve each other more and most of all let people know how much we love them and how much they have influenced our lives. He knows all of that now, and has probably always known it, but how could it have affected him and influenced him more so during his earthly life if I had told him more often. Or if I had really told him how he has influenced my life. Life is too short. We need to stop waiting to let me people know how we feel about them. We need to tell them today, because what kind of impact could those few words have on them right now if they heard them.

Don't wait to tell someone. Tell them right now.


Mandy said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think it's great how you're processing all of this. That photo is such a treasure. Thinking of you.

Syndee said...

I am so sad for your loss Shalae, He sounded like a wonderful person.
Take care of yourself and that precious family of yours:)