Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Mood of Rain

It's raining out. A dreary drissly rain. Very little sunshine getting through. I love days like this although I can't seem to handle too many of them before the lack of sunshine starts to dampen the spirits. There's something about wanting to curl up in your nice own little corner. To keep warm with blankets, and hot chocolate. To dive into a book. I don't know what it is about days like this that you feel life keeping companions with just yourself over everyone else. It's days like this that create a introspective look at yourself. To see what your feeling, how you are doing. How am I doing as mother and a wife. How am I doing spiritually. My husband and I had a good discussion the other night. When you are struggling so hard to be one in marriage, is there ever still a need for ones own personal private space, where only they can go? Is that something that would help or defeat a marriage. Should all my thoughts, feelings, desires be known by my husband? Or is there still some part of you that is only between you and your maker. Your mistakes, your sins, your deep desires of what you want out of life. It's not that I don't want him to be part of it all. There is just sometimes a need for your own space, when all of your space is filled with people, family, church members, children, husband, neighbors. A time and a place where you can disapear.... maybe this is the state we need to be in more regularly than we are, a place where we can mediate, ponder, let quieter voices speak louder than those that are screaming and demanding our attention 24 hours every day.

No comments: