Monday, December 05, 2005

A Light In Utter Darkness

There have only been a few times where I've been in total backness, complete absence of light. I didn't like it. It had only been for a very brief time but even the brief time was too long.This morning I was sitting in a place that was not only filled with light but a place that fills my soul with another light. It was here that I wondered what it would have been like to sit in complete darkness. Not just for a few minutes, or an hour, but for days.... I go home to the valley and go out at night and it feels so dark... I forget how much the city is illuminated. But even then there is still light pouring out from windows. The moon is still pouring forth her light and the stars are still there. What if all that were gone as well. Nothing... blackness, all around you so thick you could feel it, taste it. How could you not feel that it was enveloping you... taking over. What thoughts would be crossing my mind? When you can't see anything and you can't do anything and this thick midst of darkness is surrounding you what do you think about? I honestly never want to know. I can imagine that it would be horrible sitting there, hearing things... Your sense of hearing and taste would be even more alert. Hearing what? The crys of others, noises that let your imagination run wild about the unknown. The cries and fears of your children that are huddled near you. You would have to comfort, console, let them know things are going to be ok when you are not even sure they will be. And to not know how long you'll be in this state.... a minute would seem like hours, and hours would seem like years and days would seem like eternity.... was that the purpose of the darkness for that long. To show them what eternity would have felt like, could feel like without the the sacrifice of his son and if we don't partak of his gift. Living worthy to have light for eternity rather than darkness. I can not imagine what must have been felt. What could have been thought. I know I would probably be down... thinking of all that I have ever done wrong. Wondering if there was any way out of it.. hoping to see light again sometime.. What could have been a more wanted sound... a more reassuring word than...." mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I recieve..." no one could have needed anything more than mercy at that moment.. And yet that darkness might not be here right now in the physical... but it is still found in many souls. Who are still crying out.... hoping for a light some where.... even a flicker... but how do they ever hear that whisper. Why have I been blessed to hear the whisper and to have been given a light, small at first only to be growing... and to have a place filled with light that I can go and have some of that light seep into my soul. To illuminate it.... to shine within it... to give me peace... and to see that the arm of mercy is still stretched out to me.

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