Sunday, January 15, 2006

Becoming Me

Yesterday we went for a walk as a family... Savannah insisted on bringing her baby in her stroller, so that she could push her just like we push Mirian. As we were walking and we heard little comments, like look at the "little mommy" it made me ponder how much I am clueless about the pattern I'm setting for my children. Do I realize that they are following where I am leading them. They are becoming what I am... what am I? I hope that I'm teaching them how to be good people, a good mom, a disciple of Christ. But am I? I find joy in watching Savannah take care of her dolls so well, shushing them, burping them, rocking them and feeding them and wondering where she learned it all. I'm sure some of it is from me, but I think it is an eternal characteristic and quality in being a daughter of God to have a desire to be a mother and nurture. I watch her and am so grateful that her instinct to be a mom is so strong... because the world will be telling her otherwise. Telling her that there are no rewards in being a mother, that she has talents and abilities that she won't be able to develop by staying home, that she neds to work, that kids are too much work.... all kinds of messages. Ones that I pray her internal nature and spirit will overcome and say no.... it is all about being a mother. I often forget that on a day to day basis, how I teach them and treat them.... is the kind of mother they will become. What are they picking up from me... are they getting my attention... are they my everything. In church I pondered these two thoughts. "You give up your life for that which you give of your time"... Where is my time being spent? Also the scripture paraphrased in my own words..."This is my work and my glory to help bring about the immortality and eternal life of my children." How I hope that I keep showing her the right way to take care of that baby and push that stroller. I pray that I will be leading in the right direction.

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