There have been so many things that I've wanted to say. So many thoughts and feelings that I've wanted to share with you. Insights, difficulties, joys, and tender mercies that I've wanted to tell everyone about. But in the process I've been hesitant to do so. Here are some of the reasons why.
1) Some are very personal understandings and learning that are intended just for me.
2) Some are still more attacking that supportive. They are still letting us know how they think we should do it, that we're not doing enough, that our kid should be doing this or that, that we're not doing it right and we're going to mess them up. That they will either be smart or stupid. I have come to have some pretty strong opinions about things this year, and I don't feel like arguing about it with people. I would love to have a serious discussion with people, even those that don't agree. Especially if I feel like they are willing to listen and aren't going to be attacking me the whole time.
3) There are a lot of good mothers out there who sincerely want to do what is best for their child, and feel guilty or wonder if they are not a good mother if they don't homeschool. I never want to make someone feel guilty or bad. Everyone's circumstance is different. Each family is unique, each child is unique. We don't have to do it all the same way.
But lately I've been having a feeling that I should be saying more. I should be sharing the things I've learned and starting to understand because maybe there is one person out there that needs to hear it. Maybe there is one person who is struggling with something that could gain from it. Maybe there is someone that just needs the confidence to do it. I have had quite a few say that they've thought about homeschool, that they'd like to do it, they just don't know if they could. Maybe they need to see that it's possible and the Lord will help them along the way.
This morning as I was thinking about all the things that I'd like to share, the things I'm excited about, and whether or not to stick it ALL out there. I had part of this quote pop into my head:
You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson
You don't shine a light by hiding it under a bushel.
So over the next little bit I'm going to be sharing some of my journey to homeschool. Why I decided to do it, things that I have been learning in the process, tender mercies that the Lord has given us. Some of these might come across as being strongly opinionated. (If you don't already know that I have strong opinions about some things and feel pretty deeply about some stuff then you really don't know me well. :)) In sharing them with you I am not doing it make you feel bad, or guilty about what you are currently doing with your family. That's not my purpose. That is your stewardship and the Lord is letting you know what you need to do for them. I am sharing it in hopes that maybe it can help someone. Maybe it can make you think, ask questions and start searching for answers. Maybe it will give you the courage to let your light shine a little bit more.
But mostly it will be a written record for my own children of what their mom believed, chose to do while raising them, and the things I learned with them in the process. Really all of this is for them.