Getting There

Thank you so much for your sweet comments about my life lessons last week. It's always scary posting personal things like that out in the blog world. You hit the publish button, and then wonder what led you to open yourself up to so many people. Scary! But so reassuring when I hear kind words from you that it might have helped other mothers out as well.


This week is going so much better. :)

After months of trying to figure out how to exercise on a regular basis I think I finally got it. I've been trying to do it in the morning after we get Savannah off to school, but the other three children are not so cooperative. I try to do Pilates and they think that it's time to wrestle mom. I try to do a walking video and Caitlyn thinks it's time to be carried the whole 45 minutes. (It has you use weights not babies.) I try to walk outside and it's either freezing or we're stopping every 5 seconds for Isaac to pick of his new amazing rock he found.

I've been trying to get up at 4 in the morning to get a variety of things done, and thought about exericising, but the last thing I want is for my kids to hear the video going in the other room and deciding it's time to be up for the day at that hour. (They already think 5:30 - 6:00 is a good time to get going. I don't think so. This is mom's time.)

So finally this weekend, Beau dug out the treadmill that's been sitting in garage since we've moved in and set it up in the office outside for me. (No one can hear anything.) So this week we've actually been able to get up at 4:00... get going and ready to run and walk at 4:30. I'm hoping to some day get back to running my 4 miles a day. It's been sooo good. It's been starting every day off right.

I've been trying not to expect too much, and in the end it's been such a great week. Things are slowly getting done and we are having some fun. My day so far? Exercised. Worked on ScrapGirl's stuff. Some scripture time. Breakfast. Savannah to and from school. Picked up the house. Made some playdough for the kids to play with. Made some low point brownies. Did some research for my garden I'm hoping to start planning and getting in the works. Took a few photos. Made a little baby laugh. Wrote a blog post and now we're getting ready to go ride some bikes outside, clean the car (which needs it SOOO bad), make some dinner, do some homework, put the kids in bed, and relax!

It's been a good day. A really good day.

Fun things mother's get to do.

So who says being a mom has to be boring. I had a great day today and had the chance to get creative and learn something new!


Today was Mirian's birthday and she was determined she wanted a princess birthday cake. Savannah had a Cinderella one last year, and she wanted an Ariel one. So we found a picture, and I went and actually bought the real cake decorating supplies since I figure with at least 6 birthdays a year and other celebrations over the next 20 years while my kids are home, I'll get my use out of it. Plus it's fun to be creative in a whole new way.

We had a great day. Decorated cakes, hung up streamers, went shopping, had a party, and wore myself right out.

Supplies Used: Fully Alive Collection Biggie, Assemble Your Own Cake, Fall Watercolor Collection, Art Journal Collection Biggie, Extra Tape Embellishment, ScrapSimple Embellishment Template: Measure Up. Planes, Trains and Automobiles Collection.

Starting off Good

Being a Monday we are starting off good! We had a great weekend listening the prophet and apostles for general conference. Some great stuff was taught. Two of my personal favorites was one by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's where he taught about one of the misconceptions that the world has that we are not Christians. He explains how we are Christians and explains our belief in continuing living revelation. It was an amazing talk. The other talk by Melvin J. Ballard really hit home to me and every mother of young kids out there should hear it. He gives you simple council on how to be a better mom at this crazy time of life. He gives us credit for all that we do, which is sometimes all we need, a little notice and thanks for the sacrifices and effort we put into our families.

We were able to relax and enjoy being together. Dad made turnovers for us, and the kids were all over it.

Today we were up at 5:30, ready to tackle a list of to-do lists. But the best part is that I woke up to the house mostly clean, and not feeling behind for the day! What a great feeling, that way I can focus on the other things that need done.

Supplies for layouts: Cooking Collection Super Mini, SS DLT: 4x6 - Let's Brag

Make more of these.

Moments.
I read Mandy's post on being a mother and it has got me thinking. The times I'm the most happiest, when life is going smoothest, is when I stop making everything else so important and just enjoy being a mom. Spending my creative juices and talents doing something with my kids, teaching them a new skill, seeing them grow and develop. Or when I put it to use to make my home feel more like a home, new creative dinners, better organization in the house, sewing something to decorate, or just spending that time and energy doing things that actually bless my family and make our home more enjoyable to be there. So if that's what makes me the happiest, why do I give so much importance to other things, or want to express creativity in other ways. There has to be a better balance to it all. But I'm determined to start trying harder to spend most of my time using that creative energy doing SOMETHING that will truly benefit my family (and not in the means of finances.)

I worked on this quick layout last night showing one of those moments when I let things go, we went to Walmart for some errands, picked up some lunchables for snack, and went to the park to play and have a picnic. The kids thought they were in heaven and it was one of those good happy days. We need to make more of these moments.

This also hit home last weekend. After weeks of stress and exhaustion, my kids would probably not have put me up for happy mother of the year award. I was rather grouchy, they were driving me nuts, and I was burned out. Beau was leaving for a two day hike with the scouts to southern Utah, which I wasn't excited about, because I was wanting a break too.

So on Saturday while he was gone, I left the house a disaster and picked up some food to go. We drove to thanksgiving point and went to the dinosaur museum together. We had so much fun. It was such a great break for all of us. They were soo good, happy and obedient, and we had such a great time together, the first it seemed for quite a while. They were so excited to tell their dad about it the next morning when they saw him. We need more of these. I need more of this. Time just being a mom, enjoying my kids and having a good time together, instead of letting the stress and pressure of life take over.

NOT a happy mom moment

We had one of those moments. One where you forget momentarily to keep control, not raise your voice and to keep your cool. It's all you can do to not use force to send your kid to timeout, especially when they are laughing and running away from you thinking it's so funny. Mirian was immediately in timeout because mom was definitely not happy. When I came back to the mess and Isaac, he just looks at you so innocently as if he's thinking "Did I do something wrong?" He smiles and hands you your mascara brush that is now bent at a 45 degree angle. It's then that you try to find some humor in the situation and decide to grab your camera to document this moment of trouble, so you can blackmail your children later. Let them know this is not ok, take a deep breath and start cleaning it all up.


So later I decided to scrap just for fun. For the purpose of actually documenting something in my children's life for them to have later, and to see the moment in a different perspective. I used Brandie's great new kit, which I might find out I have lots of uses for!

Supplies Used: Not Guilty Collection Mini, ScrapSimple Tools - Styles: Watercolor 4901, Lifted Journal Paper Super Biggie.

Real Life as a Mother

I really haven't abandoned this blog, although some of you faithful readers are probably wondering by now. I've just let life get in the way is all, but it has been a good thing too. The problem is I wait so long that I now feel like I have to catch up on so much.

Family Pictures What a joke sometimes! This last Monday we went to a corn maze and pumpkin patch and had our friends take a few pictures. Out of the 30 or so that they snapped, this was the best of them all. Of course Mirian still isn't smiling. "What? You want me to look like I'm happy about belonging in this family?!" We were definitely asking too much of her. Ironic isn't it? When you go to take a family picture you want it to look all perfect. Everyone smiling and happy. Hair fixed and looking great. Is that reality. No way. Not even close.

We had a great time going with our friends. We hunted down the hidden friends in the corn maze, saw a bunch of animals, picked out our pumpkins and jumped on the big balloon trampoline. It was an allergy nightmare, between the corn, dust, animals, and any other possible speck of allergy forming materials, but I survived and made it through without any cases of Vertigo! Thank You!

ScrapGirls Anniversary! We celebrated ScrapGirls 3rd anniversary! I can't believe that I've been with them for 2 years already. I wasn't able to join in most of the festivities of crops, classes and contests, but I sure am glad to be a part of that wonderful place.

My life as a mother lately. Friday I babysat a little girl for our friends most of the day while they packed their house up for moving the next day. She is always so easy and no trouble at all. That night our other friends dropped their three off as well, so they could have their date night together. So for 4 hours we had 7 of them here. 2 -4 year olds, 3 - 2 year olds, and 2 babies less than 14 months old. Saturday we drove up to watch my sisters kids so they could go to the temple. So once again for about 3 hours we had 8 kids. 1 - 7 year old, 1 - 5 year old, 2 - 4 year olds, 1 - 2 year old, 1 -1 1/2 year old, and a 1 month old baby. Thank goodness for Beau. If it had just been me with Isaac, crawling all over me, while I'm trying to feed the 1 month old baby, and keep him from being laid on, while the 1 1/2 year old is trying to attack Isaac, I would have lost it for sure.

It's been about that time when I start considering when I want to have another child. Is it any surprise after a weekend like this that I was feeling perfectly happy and content with my 3, and not ready for another one anytime soon. I told Beau, I have to keep telling myself when we have our 12 kids that all 12 will not be under the age of 5. That they will range from teenagers down to the younger ones. (Twelve is the number Beau always tell people when they ask how many kids we're going to have. It always gets some great facial expressions, and questions you couldn't believe. It's pretty funny. I bet you did a double take on the number as well too, huh?)

Then today I got to wrestle them during church. That is always so much fun... Beau is in the bishopric and so he sits on the stand with the other leaders, with me wrestling 3 children on the bench for over an hour. Needless to say, I have a hard time getting a whole lot of spiritual upliftment during sacrament meeting lately. Trying to convince Savannah to keep her legs down since she's wearing a dress and to stop kicking the bench in front of us. Isaac who is wired and tired at the same time since it's naptime, but there is way too much going on to want to fall asleep. Mirian always wants to sit on my lap, but doesn't want to have Isaac sit with me. So that creates a battle. There is no way I'm putting him down, he'd be off in two seconds and I'd never see him again. So we settle for fruit loops. It's amazing how quiet they'll sit there with a handful of fruitloops in their laps. But then you have to make sure they aren't dumping them on the ground. All the while, trying to keep Isaac from bursting out with these little screams because he loves to hear his voice in that large room. Most of all I try to let everyone else around me have some sort of spiritual experience while we are there with our little rambunctious ones.

Well, Isaac got tired and he drank all of his bottle, so he started getting ornery. I tried to convince my two girls to just sit there quietly while I went to fill up his bottle. Nope. Before I knew it I had a train following me out of the meeting carrying fruit loops and dropping the sippy cup which starts rolling down the aisle as I got up to leave. We managed to survive the first meeting. If I can make it through that one, then I can take them to their children's classes in primary. I just have only Isaac to deal with, and the plan is always to get him to fall asleep so I can enjoy at least the next hour or two in peace, and get some sort of spiritual insight.

Lately, they have been asking me to substitute in the primary (the children's classes) which is fine and I'm more than willing to help. But a young mother who deals with kids 24 hours a day all day, looks forward so much to Sunday when she can sit for 2 hours in the adult Sunday School and Relief Society and be spiritually nourished on an adult level. I knew for sure if one of the primary leaders came up and asked me to help today, I would have broken down in tears, and said "I can't, I can't handle being around another kid right now, I need time for me. " Luckily for me, I wasn't asked today and was actually able to enjoy the rest of my meetings.

(This is more what real life is like)

You can always ask me after a Sunday with the kids, if I'm ready for another one. With my frazzled hair, short patience, and fruitloops and formula over my one semi nice outfit, I would say no way. Not right now. Give me a little bit more time. Well today as I was wrestling them I had the thought what if the next one turned out to be twins. TWINS!! My whole body started to hyperventilate, and I thought - "NO WAY! I am not getting pregnant! I don't even want to risk it. Twins, and these three on a church bench all by myself. No Way! Beau has how many more years? 2 at least, 5 at the most.... nope. Not doing it. Hmmm how is a 5 year space between Isaac and the next one? :)

Thank goodness for a sweet single sister that was sitting behind us today. She probably didn't get anything out of the meeting as well, how could she or anyone else that was in a 20 foot radius. When they said the closing prayer and I released all the tension, and my breath I had been holding in for the last 70 minutes, she reached up and put her hand on my shoulder. "I just want you to know your my hero. Someday I want to be like you." She had no idea how much that meant. I am by far not the greatest mom in the world, but it made me feel ok about what I was doing. I must be doing at least something right. That girl made my day.

So that is life as a mom. If your a mom you completely understand and have been there yourself. It's great and it's hard. It's rewarding and wonderful and it is trying. I would never change it in a million years, and somehow down the road here, I'll be itching for another little one despite these struggles and burn outs. When it does happen, it will be great and wonderful. I will somehow learn to manage with them just as I learned to manage with one, and then with two, and then with three. Eventually I'll manage with the fourth. We'll just hope it's not a fourth and a fifth at the same time! :)

Latest Readings

Lately I've finally started making more time to get some reading in. I love reading and used to read tons of books all of the time. Life has gotten crazy and hectic. So I haven't read anything lately that wasn't related to Photoshop or Scrapbooking. It's been refreshing to pick up some new ones.

The other day I was in Walmart and ran across this book 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know, it looked really good and so I decided to pick it up. I can always use new tips to be a better mom. I read half the book the afternoon I brought it home. All I can say is EVERY mom should read this book. I'm not kidding either. It is great. It is practical. It has things to actually help you accomplish what you want to do as a mother. Everything she writes about is so true. The minute I started reading it, everything resonated with me. It made being a mother seem so much simpler, so much easier, so much more doable, and so much happier and joyous. If you haven't read this book, you've got to get it.

Another one I finished up in a day and a half reading here and there was Blue Like Jazz. My friend Mandy recommended it on her blog a while ago. Our library didn't have it, and so I never had a chance to read it. While Beau and I were on our date a couple of weeks ago at Borders, we ran across it on a "buy 2 books get the third one free"... so we took advantage of it. I loved it! It was an easy read, but one that gave me so much to think about. And from the perspective of a Christian that view things differently than I. It's definitely a favorite now. I have my husband reading it now, and he put it nicely the other day, "The things that he writes about are not anything new, but the way he writes them make you see things in a whole new perspective, and think about things in a whole new light." So thanks Mandy. I'm dying to read his other two.

Proud Mom

What can I say. I'm a proud mom. I was just going through some pictures of mine and ran across this one of Savannah when she was just tiny. Isn't she just the cutest. I have to say that I just think I have some of the cutest kids possible. All of them with their daddy's blue eyes. It's amazing to see how fast they grow and to see how fast Savannah has grown up lately. I was just watching her tonight at the park swinging with Dad and Mirian. I have one year left with her at home before she heads off to school. How fast time has gone by. She has grown up so much is so independent, and so smart. Today she 'surprised' mom who was really tired and sick by helping aunt heather do the dishes and clean the kitchen she was such a big help, and so proud of her surprise. How sometime you wish you could hold time for a moment and sit and really enjoy her at this stage now. That's the same with all my children. There is something just magical and enjoyable about this age. (I'm surprised I'm saying this after having all of the very sick all week.) But they really are. They are such a gift from God and every day I count myself blessed to be able to enjoy life with them. To be such an important person in their life, and experience real joy with them. Here's some of my other two cuties Mirian and Isaac.

One Hard Week

I don't know what it has been about this week, but it has been hard. The girls have not been on their best behavior or the most helpful. I've felt shorted on time with my husband. I've had a thousand ideas in the back of my mind that I've been wanting to design and no time at all to even try. One long week of frustration and discouragement. Weeks like these are hard. They make you start evaluating how you spend of all of your time, what you should be focusing on and how to adjust my attitude.

Tonight as I was putting the girls to bed I was wondering why being a mom is so hard sometimes. I had the question that if had I not chose to be a mom and instead just pursued art or designed who would I be. I would definitely not be the person I am now. I realized that there is NO way I could have grown in the many ways that I have. There is nothing out there, not in my design or art world, nor anything that I can think of that would make me stretch, grow and develop as a person more than a mom. Which is why it is so hard. But which is why it is so worth it. They make me use every faculty I have, every talent I've been given. They require me to stretch in areas I never knew needed stretching. I can't even begin to list all the things they've taught me... one of the greatest being love. Unconditional love. They have made me a better person, and by the time I'm done with this life I can't imagine who I will have become.

Parenting

The last couple of weeks I would have to say have been frustrating as a parent. It seems that my two girls are fighting more, being defiant, not listening and my patience has been running very thin. In trying to figure out how to be a better mother I've been looking around for resources to help. It's been interesting as I've pondered what I should be teaching my children, especially with all the things the world tells me that I should teach. I have come to the basic conclusion of this: The only thing that matters the most is that they are spiritually strong. If they do not know that God loves them, that they can approach him in prayer, why they are here, how to be obedient and follow his commandments, a desire to do good and be Christlike, then nothing else matters. In the end when we leave this life we will judged on these things rather than how much worldly eduction we ever received or achievements we might have attained in this life. So it's made me evaluation how much time I'm spending teaching these things to my children or showing them by example. But in my gospel study on how to be a more effective and better parent. I ran across these two illustrations in the Family Home Evening manual put out by the church. I think they are great and can help me evaluate in those moments of stress, frustration and impatience, which way I am teaching. If it's not the Lord's way then most likely I'm the one that needs to be in timeout not my children.. time out to re - evlauate, ponder and get the spirit back. Here's the links for them:

Helping Family Members Live the Gospel
Reasoning With Children

Don't Worry. I Know Exactly How You Feel.

I ended up creating this last night after a terrible day. One of those really long days as a mom. Beau was so good to come home and help out with things and give me a much needed break from the tantrums, screaming, fighting etc. It was one of those days were you wonder if your a terrible mother and ruining your children... anyway here's the journaling on the layout.

" Don't worry. I know exactly how you feel. In fact today was one of those days. One where I wish I could throw my hands up in the air and throw my own tantrum. Being a mom is wonderful and so fulfilling. But if anyone says that it’s always easy is lying. It can be exhausting. And it’s days like today that I never question whether or not I should have become a mom, but whether or not I am a good mom. When I have completely run out of patience, when nothing is going right, when the house is a disaster and my children are obviously unhappy. I shed a few tears and keep on pushing on, all the while hoping I’m not completely ruining my children. But it’s also times like these when I feel far from being perfect, that I hear quiet whisperings from one who is, that tells me it’s ok, I am doing the best that I possibly can, and some days that is good enough. That he appreciates my time and sacrifice and that along with that hug and kiss from you, makes me feel ok about the job I’m doing of being a mother.."

These are the supplies I used in creating the layout. They are all found at ScrapGirls.

SSTools: Actions - Stitching 4901; Stitching 1 Brush Set; Faithful Collection Biggie; SSTools: Styles - Embedded 1801; Nessa Collection Biggie; Blackberry Brush Set; Live Merry Collection